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on fear and stickiness.

October 13, 2007 By Marta Darby 5 Comments

Pa099095_2Isn’t this a cool piece of art?

Eric got it for me a couple of years ago and I just love it.

That has always been my "mantra." (well, technically, I’m not really sure what a mantra is, but I know it’s a form of self-talk, so just go with me on this one. =D)

"I am Fearless."

Okay. It’s not really true.

Or at least it wasn’t.

I remember the catechism of fear that I learned early on:

  • "Don’t talk to anyone." 
  • "Just keep smiling."
  • "Try not to be noticed."
  • "Don’t cry."
  • Do what you’re told."

I know those sound bites could be from any mother to any child, and they are pretty innocuous, but when you put them into their original context, the meaning drastically changes.

When you are a five-year-old walking towards an airplane guarded by bearded, military, machine-gun toting personnel, the words become Life or Death.

And they stick. They stick in the stickiest life-defining form.

And so I carried the fear with me everywhere I went, even though I knew I was safe here on U.S. soil and within the arms of my amazing family.
But I started saying this about myself:  "I am fearless."

And somehow, those words have been sticky and life-defining, too.

Because I learned that it takes a lot of courage to face the things you are genuinely afraid of.

So, really, I’m still kind of a whiner-baby and scaredy-cat on the INSIDE.

But on the OUTSIDE: 

"I  (really) AM FEARLESS."

You might also like:

Why I Was Scared Confronting Weakness Getting My Hands Dirty I’m OKAY. (You’re a cow. =D)

Filed Under: Cuban-American Life, Lifestyle Tagged With: creative stuff

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. norita says

    October 14, 2007 at 12:13 am

    Silly girl, you are in denial of your own courage. Fearless is leaving a bad marriage to an uncertain future, fearless is taking on homeschooling TWO children even though you have an aversion to textbooks, fearless is maintaining a blog that is so deeply personal it could leave a fearful person feeling too exposed, fearless is the way you run head-long into friendships and fearless is the performance art that is your life.You are the very embodiment of fearless.
    Norita

    Reply
  2. keb says

    October 14, 2007 at 8:46 am

    you are brilliant. How I admire yr way w/ words & prophetic gifting.

    Reply
  3. Carrie_in_TN says

    October 14, 2007 at 6:01 pm

    Roar, Mama, roar!

    Reply
  4. Marta says

    October 14, 2007 at 11:34 pm

    Norita-Me dejaste sin palabras. Gracias.
    Marta

    Reply
  5. Balou says

    October 17, 2007 at 6:22 am

    I loved this post. You ARE fearless in your everyday. It doesn’t take a big , bold gesture to prove someone’s fearlessness.(My mantra is: I am stronger than I know.)

    Reply

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Marta Verdes Darby is a Cuban-American food blogger in South Orange County.

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