I don't remember the lesson having been specifically taught. But I know that insidiously I picked up what would always remain as The First Great Truth:
"You must never show weakness or vulnerability."
No, no one ever said these words to me out loud, and yet I learned them well, just as I learned to tie my shoes and speak English. It was a high value in my family to be strong and to never show weakness. I was musing to a friend that perhaps it's a very Cuban trait?
No, she said. It's a very female trait.
As I have been struggling lately just to show up for life and do what I need to do, the words are looming before me, and those nagging internal voices (in a Cuban accent, of course) are getting louder:
YOU MUST NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY.
And yet, I'm in a season of weakness and vulnerability, so my self-esteem is taking quite a beating.
But I have a secret weapon: I married well. And my husband knows when to work hard and when it's time to relax. And he gives me the grace to be weak without judgement.
In fact, he is very efficient in silencing the nagging Cuban voices in my head and is so teaching me to relax.
Nefret is obviously helping illustrate the lesson, but that's not important right now.
So, today, in spite of my struggles and perceived weakness, I am celebrating that I do, indeed, lead a charmed life. 😉
Hang in there mi niña y no pare, sigue-sigue!Hope you feel better! I always look forward to your posts, in fact, yours was the first one I read today in the sea of post in my goggle reader. Dale que tu puedes!
Un beso,
Angie from Miami
Thank you for somehow crossing paths with me, especially today with your blog. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed your previous lighthearted blogs. But, today your words especially resonate with me. My mother died this Monday, 2/7/11 and I am left reeling with the suddenness and unanswered questions. In the roullette of life, I was handed a doozy of a legacy when it came time for my father’s, sister’s and now my mom’s dramatic deaths.Like you, God has granted me a heck of a husband and my kids aren’t too shabby either. I find comfort in my faith, which has grown as I’ve gotten older. I also think that having a positive perspective is what keeps me afloat, too. It’s the long list of good situations in my life that I put my concentration and energy into.
Besides, taking a break, asking for help, talking about problems does NOT make one a weak person. Actually, I believe you have to be pretty strong to confront the crap head on and admit it, instead of shutting it up inside pretending it doesn’t exist.
Sending thoughts of peace to you,
Nancy
I love you MORE!!
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.May His words comfort you. You are in my prayers!
Besote!!!!
Ody
It’s a Cuban thing, we are very prideful people, and in our culture image and reputation is very valued and important even if we sometimes have to put a fake facade.Hang in there Martha your a awesome, respectful woman, with great charisma, talent, and a wonderful family… and yes because of all those great qualities you deserve to relax when needed n take it easy 🙂
Thanks, Angie.Un beso back to you!
Nancy,I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through.
I have learned this, though: It takes a lot of courage to take even the next baby step when you feel like you can barely walk.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Keep the faith, my friend.
Besos,
Marta
Not possible.
Ody,Of course, you won’t be surprised to know that that is the very verse has kept me going for the past month.
Gracias!
Hi Nathan,I do believe that it’s almost a Cuban National Identity. We are definitely tough and proud.
Learning to admit weakness is a new thing for me. I appreciate your kindness and your gracious words.
Thanks!