Kikita wrote this post about her recent trip to Cuba; depending on the kind of person you are you may or may not need tissues.
Have you ever had one of those moments where you thought, "Dang it! I should have taken more pictures!"?
I am having one of those moments.
At the time, I was worried about running out of battery power or something. At the time, tears were streaming down my face.
At the time, I didn't know how to capture the intensity of the where I was and what I was feeling.
It happened the way all great moments do, suddenly and without warning. It was not exactly part of the plan.
The Plan was to have a quick lunch at my cousin's house, stay only as long as was necessary to be polite, and then drive to Matanzas while it was still light out.
The Plan was proceeding perfectly. The lunch of chicken, veggies, black beans, white rice, and yuca was delicious.
Time was flying by between all the stories, laughter, and sheer joy of just being together.
That's when I asked if they knew where "Casa de la Loma" was. It was the last house my familiy lived in before they left. It was the house Mami always talked about. It was the house I'd tried to picture a thousand times in my head. It was the house whose address I knew by heart.
Still smiling and laughing, we all piled into the little rental car and traveled the few blocks over to Avenida de la Loma and stopped in front of #33.
I was rather dumb-struck and so I just took a picture of the outside number and stared wide-eyed.
My cousin (well, MAMI's cousin), Regina, rang the doorbell and asked the people living there (a French diplomat and his wife) if we could go inside. They were very sweet and showed us THE. WHOLE. HOUSE. Since Mami's cousins Lupe & Regina were with me, they told me whose room belonged to whom. I could barely speak. I couldn't stop my eyes from leaking. I kept forgetting to take pictures. I suddenly understood how "the house in the back" worked.
One of the most striking and intense things for me was being there with the primas who kept saying:
"I remember this courtyard being a lot bigger."
"I remember playing in this room with your Mom."
"I remember this hallway being a lot longer."
As we walked through the house, I pictured my mother as a five-year-old running down the long hallway. Or looking down from the top of the stairs. I kept trying to imagine what it would have looked like through her eyes.
As the tears of all that my family lost flowed down my face, there were new things that I began to wonder. I knew my mom's story, but she is the youngest of 6. There are 5 other stories I didn't know. 5 other stories. 5 siblings who lived in that house. 5 other points of view. (And that doesn't include my grandparents, I was just thinking about the kids and how they must have seen things differently because of their ages.)
I think that my impromptu visit to Casa de la Loma in the Nuevo Vedado, near the cemetary of Colón, looking over the river Almandares was one of the biggest moments that effected me on this trip. It changed my perspective of my family's story. It brought home to me just how tragic it all is. It has inspired me to seek out everyone else's story. And as I hear their stories, I don't have to imagine what the house looked like. I can see it. I was there.
Beautiful Kikita!! I’m so jealous as I too have all of the stories of our house in El Vedado and the summer home in El Nautico. I have frequently wondered if could recognize those houses just from the descriptions I have heard over the years. Love it, love it, love it; keep up these posts, I too am living vicariously through you:)
Loved the post. When we visit Cuba to help out the church there in Matanza’s, we took a trip to Havana and visited the house where I grew up until the age of five. It was the house that my parents moved into when they got married. It’s now own my some high official and it’s very well kept. But it brought back much joy for my parents. It’s funny but I really thought the street had a high incline on it, but at five years of age, high incline could be a speed bump. 😉
Wonderful post, Amy. This is exactly what I long to do. I really have no desire to visit beaches or any other things that people do on vacation. The only thing I really want is to go see my family’s homes and the places that felt like they were mine until we left when I was 7 years old. Revisit my memories. Just to see if they were real.
Oh God Kikita, after reading this I am more convinced than ever that I HAVE TO GO BACK! Thank you for bringing back so many memories. Beautiful post!
I have been devouring your posts about your trip to Cuba I’m going for the first time with my Mami next month… so excited so many mixed feelings!I will be back amiga! LOVE YOUR BLOG!
http://namaste-elsiee.blogspot.com/
Tissues definitely needed. THE HALLWAY!!!! My desk (antique roll top desk) was at the end of that hallway where that little table is now. Talk about time travel.