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“Funny, but you don’t look Cuban.”

March 8, 2009 By Marta Darby 17 Comments

I get this all the time.

It's the blue eyes and fair skin that seems to confuse people.  Or maybe it's that all the news lately from Cuba seems to show a sort of third-world-dark-skinned population. And yes, many Cubans are black. And Chinese. And even Jewish. We Cubans come in all sizes and flavors. =D

To clarify, both my parents are Cuban. My grandparents back for a dozen generations on my mother's side are Cuban. Maybe there's a little Spanish (as in, from Spain) mixed in somewhere from my great-grandparents on my father's side…

My siblings and I were all born in Cuba. My kids are Cuban-Americans. My nieces and nephews are Cuban-Americans. And they look like everyone else. (go figure!)

NOTE: Our dear friend and next door neighbor is an amazing portrait/wedding/all occasion photographer and I asked him if he would please do something a little different as a gift for my mom's 95th birthday.  Notice how we hauled out my favorite red leather chair out onto the sidewalk and driveway?   God bless, Rafael who got out of his comfort zone to shoot us. (I think there were moments when he probably wanted to literally shoot us, but that's not important right now. =D)

All that to say this: We are all Cuban. And this is what we look like.

(as captured  by our great friend and fabulous photographer-of-infinite-talent-and-patience, Rafael, on the occasion of my mom's 95th birthday. Sadly, we are missing quite a few family members who were not available at the time of the photo shoot.)
Nat Luza Alina

Luza

Garcias 2

Helen & Ben

Fam b&w

3 generations

P2285111

Garcias

Jon 

Everyone

Ofie & Luza

Dressels

Darbys

 
Luza & Amy

Luza Helen

Garcias 3

Helen del

Great grands

Helen & Lucy

Gerbera daisies

E & M

P2285054

And because it was a birthday party (as was declared by one of the 4 year olds ) everyone had to wear a hat!
The great hat photo

Thank you so much, Rafael, my friend, for capturing the LIFE of my big, fat, Cuban family.  =D

And for documenting such a precious milestone in our lives.
Eyes

You might also like:

Our Favorite Orange County Portrait Photographer and Friend Cuban-American Pride Must. Have. Cuban. Food. PP is my BFF

Filed Under: Cuban-American Life, My Big, Fat, Cuban Family

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Adriana says

    March 8, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    Marta! These pictures are AWESOME! and your mom looks wonderful! It is very clear everyone had a wonderful time and of course the weather helped.As for not looking Cuban, trust me, I know exactly what you mean. Funny thing happened to me though the other day when I went to the mechanic. I’d been speaking on the phone (Spanish of course), and one of the guys at the counter asked me if I was Brazilian (you know, because I look so exotic – NOT), and I told him no that I was from Puerto Rico (long story, it’s just easier). Next thing I heard, was a REALLY in disbelief, you don’t look Puerto Rican. My parents are from Cuba I said. Ah! No wonder, he said.
    Now that one, had never happened to me before!

    Reply
  2. Melek says

    March 9, 2009 at 7:14 am

    Wow!What a treasure, Marti! Thanks for sharing … God Bless y’all! Un abrazo para Dona Luz and the rest of “MBFCF”!
    I wish you well 🙂 Melek
    “Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.”~ Martin Buxbaum

    Reply
  3. Gladita says

    March 9, 2009 at 7:15 am

    Hi Marta,I loved the pictures of the Big Fat Cuban Family!
    I can relate to the You don’t look Cuban thing very much! I live in Dallas so the perception here is you that if you speak spanish you must be from Mexico. I do not look Mexican, because I am not, so I always get the “You don’t look Mexican comment.
    I respond, that is because I am not.
    Then….So how do you speak spanish?
    Then the Cuban really comes out and I start my culture awareness and diversity information session with them….LOL !
    I mean really, what does Cuban look like? I start to give examples of famous Cubans ( ex: Celia and Cristina, Bob Villa, El Duque and Cameron Diaz I mean really…dang people )
    Slowly some of these Texans get a clue and say I guess you are right! At that point I think they really just want the crazy Cuban to shut up!
    I am by far a bigot, being married to a black man, my sister is married to a man who is half Thai and half Italian so believe me our family is an arroz con mango for sure, but I wish people could just be more socially concious of the world….will some people ever realize that there are many other latin countries other than Mexico??????? LOL
    I think I look very Cubana…who cares what everyone else thinks! : )

    Reply
  4. Odyfab says

    March 9, 2009 at 7:51 am

    Mati,Beautiful pictures, beautiful family!!!!

    Reply
  5. Kikita says

    March 9, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Yeah, we’re gorgeous. It happens. ;-)Gracias a Dios que soy Cubanan!

    Reply
  6. jana says

    March 9, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    Amazing pictures! And I love the favicon too 🙂

    Reply
  7. Dutchess Wobblebottom says

    March 9, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    You have such a beautiful collection of pictures of your family, and such a beautiful family to photograph!Side question.. where are those daisies that were photographed in the midst of the party photos? My favourite flower; were they planted at Abuela’s house?! I’ll have to pay them a visit!! 😀

    Reply
  8. Marta M. Darby says

    March 9, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Everyone,Thanks for the gracious compliments!
    Jana,
    Thanks for noticing the favicon. I am quite proud. =D
    Dutchess Wobblebottom,
    The gerbera daisies are now in my mom’s garden. Although I loved them so much I picked up a few for my own garden. They look amazing in the bed framed by the white picket fence. 😉

    Reply
  9. Mica says

    March 9, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Marta,Thanks for sharing, it is obvious that party was full of love and fun.
    I get the ‘you don’t look cuban’ thing too. I feel sorry for them when they say that to us. They don’t get it…
    xoxo

    Reply
  10. Amanda says

    March 10, 2009 at 7:12 am

    I am the daughter of a Cuban man and a Colombian woman. I found your blog while I was in search of good novels or history books featuring Cuba, in an anti-Castro viewpoint. Call it trying to find out more about my culture. My fath’s family is in Florida and New Jersey but we are over here in PA with my Colombian side, thus cuban culture was missed, except for mojitos…. anyway, my question is, do you know of any books, telenovelas, movies, or anything that is both interesting, and about cuba or cuban culture? Spanish or English doesn’t matter, I speak both. I’m talking about something more than Gloria Estefan and Scarface….

    Reply
  11. Marta M. Darby says

    March 10, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Hi Amanda,Welcome to MBFCF!
    If you look right there in the right column, I have books by Cuban authors from an anti-Castro point of view.

    Reply
  12. Carrie_in_TN says

    March 11, 2009 at 6:58 am

    These pictures are so beautiful and fun they’ve actually made me cry like a boba! I love them. Que tesoro!

    Reply
  13. Alissa Cardenas says

    March 12, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    The pictures are gorgeous! You have a gorgeous family which is only natural of a Cuban family! By the way, yes I am Cuban too! 🙂 Now I don’t get “You don’t look Cuban” but I work in a diner in Pennsylvania (go figure) and I get this a lot:”My wife here thinks you are Cherokee Indian but I’m pretty sure you are Peruvian.”
    I usually reply with:
    “I get that a lot and I always thought it was pretty obvious that I am hispanic.”
    So…. I went online after I had this conversation a few times with a few people and I googled “cherokee indian woman”. The result is pretty funny and I don’t think I look like these people. Then I think, how the heck can someone be so specific and think that I am cherokee indian but can’t tell that I’m Cuban?! Anyway, that was my funny story. Again, very photgenic family!

    Reply
  14. la cubanita-americanita says

    August 24, 2010 at 5:49 am

    Nice blog Marta. I get the “You don’t sound Cuban” a lot. I live in Colorado y aqui la gente son un po’ ignorante.

    Reply
  15. Brooke says

    December 31, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Haha, I love this post. My Mom is 1/2 Cuban/Spanish and she has got brown hair, light skin and green eyes. I have blonde hair, blue eyes and light skin. Obviously I’m only 1/4th but people are often blown away when they find out my Grandfather was Cuban/Spanish. I like to throw it out there sometimes and watch people go “NO WAY!”

    Reply
  16. Ace Gomezo says

    January 13, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    i get the same thing. i am 100% cubano straight from la habano and still people say i am yuma

    Reply
  17. Lyn Sherwood says

    July 4, 2018 at 4:48 am

    I’m searching for my half-siblings – Joy Diane Gonzales, b. 191 and her full brother Robert(o) Gonzales b. 1953 – father’s name unknown, mother’s name could be: Virginia Enlowaine Nace, or Barbara Van Ness.

    Thanks!

    Lyn McIntosh-Sherwood
    Brou, France
    (ex-pat from USA)

    Reply

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