• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
My Big Fat Cuban Family

My Big Fat Cuban Family

Cuban recipes, family, heritage, and culture.

  • Meet Marta
    • Media Mentions
  • Lifestyle
    • Cuban-American Life
    • My Big, Fat, Cuban Family
  • Entertainment
    • Disney
    • Marvel
    • Television
    • Concerts
    • Books
    • Theatre
  • Celebrate
    • Halloween
    • Thanksgiving
    • Cuban Christmas
    • Mother’s Day
    • Movie Nights
    • Summer Nights
  • Recipes
    • Cuban Recipes With Pictures
    • Family Favorites
    • My Cook Book
  • Shop
    • Cuban Foods Poster
    • Cuban T-Shirts
    • Costa Rican Foods Poster
    • Honduran Foods Poster
    • Puerto Rican Foods Poster
    • Salvadoran Foods Poster
    • Scottish Foods Poster
    • Customize Your Own
    • Cuban Goodies In Your Mailbox
  • Contact
    • Advertise
  • Archives

Cuando Sali de Cuba – Carmen’s Story

September 25, 2012 By Marta Darby 3 Comments

Marta here: Carmen tells a beautiful story about her family's many and painful losses after the Cuban Revolution and about their personal triumphs here in America. (Get tissues.)

Cuando

by Carmen McPherson

I was born on July 23, 1960 in Santiago, on the beautiful island of Cuba.  My parents were born and raised in Cuba. My father had attended university in America and was employed as a research chemist at an American company in Cuba.

Wedding
Carmen's parents on their wedding day – February 8, 1959.

My memories of my early childhood are happy and vivid. We visited my grandparents' homes often and my  younger brother and I enjoyed having my cousins as playmates during those soon to be very difficult political years.

Cuba
Carmen, at her favorite place to be as a child: the beach in Cuba. This was taken shortly before her family came to the United States.

1966 was a turning point in my life. People we knew started to disappear, seemingly overnight. There were hushed tones by adults and the new  ever-present presence of military police.

My father lost his job because we were now declared to be “gusanos" – worms – because we wanted to leave the country.

I loved socializing and my world revolved around my school friends. Even though the school was not a Catholic one, we all wore uniforms. One day the military police came in the middle of the day and we were told that we now had to wear red bandanas in alliance and respect for Castro and the Revolution. That would be my last day attending school. From that point on, I would be home schooled by my father.

Around this same time, my mom told me that we would not be able to attend Mass anymore at our beautiful Catholic Church. Cuba was now under Castro's regime , an atheist country. The priests and nuns were quickly run out of the country.
 
My father using his  chemistry skills was now making everything from soap to shampoo and even ketchup  to sell for pesos on the black market. The entire country was now on food stamp rationing.

Castro's militia would conduct surprise inspections of our home and would take inventory of all of our belongings. I remember wondering “why does anyone care how many dolls or dresses I have in my closet?"

Summer 1967. I am at my maternal grandmother’s home when my father suddenly and excitedly appears in the courtyard. He is happy. My mother is crying. I am confused. I hear, "nos vamos." We are leaving. Our lottery visa number had come up!

At first our visas have us leaving and spending some time in Spain, then all of a sudden we get the news that we are going directly to America on a Freedom Flight sponsored by Catholic Charities. I would be turning 7  in July. 

August 1967 we spend the night in my mother’s childhood home and the next  morning, my aunts give us Spam sandwiches to take with us. We say goodbye and vow to see each other soon. My father gives the last of his pesos to the cab driver and we are at the airport for a very long time.

Our bags are checked and re-checked. Each child is allowed one toy and one bag. I have chosen a doll that is dressed like a bride, my grandmother had used part of my mother’s wedding gown to dress the doll. My brother is holding a red truck.

We sleep on the benches. We are stripped of our gold religious medals. My father has hidden family pictures  and sown them in different compartments in his suitcase. My mom's wedding band is allowed to remain on her finger. The bearded soldier has declared it to be "basura" – junk – not worth anything. My brilliant father had purposely tarnished it, hoping that the communists would think exactly that.

I sleep through the plane ride to America. We arrive in Miami and are “processed” at the refugee detention center. My father is handed a square box with a Red Cross on it. It contains toiletries and some American money.  Imagine the start of a whole new life… in a box.

We spend a few days there, in rooms with bunk beds and huge cafeteria style open rooms where I watch Bewitched and That Girl with other Cuban kids. None of us understand what s going  on.

We are served cold cereal to be eaten in small boxes. How odd is this America? We are served “hot dogs.” After months of eating a diet that consisted mostly of  bread and olive oil and  spam, the abundance of food is startling. I am shocked that food is thrown in the garbage.

Our paperwork is cleared and we are soon on the way to New York City. We arrive at Kennedy Airport and are met by my uncle, my mother's eldest brother and his family. We will live with them until my father gets on his feet. In the cab ride to Brooklyn, I am wondering why it is not cold or snowing  as I have been warned by my aunts in Cuba.  It is August 31, 1967.

The next few weeks would be a dizzying ride: new food, hand me down clothes, something called "Vietnam" is making my 18 year old cousin cry because her boyfriend is there. I am hoping we won't have to go there next.

September 1967. My brother and I are walked to a huge public school where we line up in endless lines and are lead into the huge building. My father has pinned this note on us: "I do not speak English." along with our names. Eventually we are put into a bilingual classroom.

Holy communion
Carmen, on the day of her First Holy Communion with her mom, dad, and brother, Rick. Montclair, New Jersey.

By Christmas, I am reading in English. Reading has opened new doors for me and a place to escape.

My father  found work as a research chemist thanks to his American degree and by Summer of 1969, he found a new home for our family in Montclair, New Jersey. Eventually, we would settle in West Orange, New Jersey, where I reside to this day.

I hope and pray that someday my family and I will be able to travel back to a free and Democratic Cuba. I value Education and never take the privilege of voting in a government election or practicing my faith for granted. I am grateful to America for the many opportunities it has offered my family.

Carmen & husband Ken
Carmen and her husband, Ken.

Carmen & kids
Carmen's five kids (l to r): Russell, Robert, Camille, Coryne and Ken.

I have been happily married to my husband, Ken for 21 years and still think of my late fathers words everytime one of his  grandchildren receives a diploma. 

He would say, "M'ija, Fidel Castro took everything away from me, except what is in here." – and then he would tap his head.

You might also like:

Cuando Sali de Cuba – Henry’s Story Cuando Sali de Cuba – Mica’s Story Cuando Sali de Cuba – Anna’s story Cuando Sali de Cuba – Ada’s Story

Filed Under: Cuando Sali de Cuba Tagged With: Catholic Charities, Cuando Sali de Cuba, Cuban children, Cuban family, Cuban immigrants, Cuban Revolution, Kennedy Airport, New York City

Previous Post: « Cuando Sali de Cuba – Henry’s Story
Next Post: Cuando Sali de Cuba – Estrella’s Story »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Maria C Gonzalez says

    September 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Hi I am Carmen’s causin “Casy”. my siter and I used to spend lots of time with her and cousin Henry, tia Carmen y tio Kiko. Her father was my fahter younger brother. June 22, 1968,we left Cuba on the Freedom Flights, on on June 24,1968 they welcome my sister and I while our parents stayed with another brother on the other side of Brooklin, NYC. For about a month they were my family; I still remember their apartment, they taught us our first English words….I am SOOOOO thankful for my American family: mis tios y primos Gonzalez-Barrios!!! We eventually moved to Astoria, Queens then to Miami, and then to Boston Ma…time has pass but we are on eachothers heart…xoxox u cuz

    Reply
  2. Maria C. Gonzalez says

    September 26, 2012 at 8:30 pm

    Carmen I am VERY PROUD of YOU!!!! THANKS

    Reply
  3. Herko says

    November 4, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    Great stuff Carmen. I am so glad to know the family as long as I have.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

EXPERIENCE CASA DE LA LOMA

Casa de la Loma on Airbnb

My Cuban T-Shirt Designs

“Cuban T-Shirts

Subscribe to MBFCF Newsletter!

Never miss a post! Sign up with your email address to receive recipes, news and updates right in your inbox!

Cuban Foods Poster

“Cuba

Cuban Coffee Poster

“Cuba

Cuban Desserts Poster

“Cuba poster - Cuban desserts subway art print

Most Recent Posts

  • The Bench
    October 15, 2025
  • 19 Stories I’m Excited to Tell
    October 1, 2025
  • Santayana loves Celia
    August 29, 2024
  • Post Solar Eclipse – Café La Llave Giveaway
    April 16, 2024
  • REAL Snow: A Darby Family Adventure
    March 19, 2024

Cuban Recipes Cookbook

Cuban recipes with pictures cookbook from My Big Fat Cuban Family

Follow Me on Instagram

mybigfatcubanfamily

I love all things Cuban. I love to share stories, my family, food & recipes. I'm Marta. 💋🎉 @martadarby
Marta Darby Designs:
https://etsy.me/3ZWbWIS

Deseándole mucha felicidad a nuestro querido @will Deseándole mucha felicidad a nuestro querido @willychirino por sus cumpleaños! 🎂LA friends: Don’t miss Willy at the Downey theatre on May 8th and 9th, 2026! Come celebrate with us! 🎉See you there! Ey-o Ey-o! 🕺🏼💃🏻#willychirino
In these days of great uncertainty, it’s our cheri In these days of great uncertainty, it’s our cherished rituals that bring us comfort and provide great joy. 🇨🇺☕️Also, I really need the jolt of caffeine💥 but that’s not important right now.😉@cafelallave#thedrinkofmypeople🇨🇺☕️ #cafecubano #cafecito #cafelallave #itsacubanthing
🚨ATTENTION LOS ANGELES!!Get ready to meet all of 🚨ATTENTION LOS ANGELES!!Get ready to meet all of the local like-minded Cubans who are ready to celebrate the death of communism on our beloved island! 🇨🇺We’ll be meeting at the Federal Building in Westwood.
Saturday, March 28, 2026
From 10 am to 12 pm.Bring your family and friends, your cazuelas y pitos, and of course ALL your Cubanity!
Porque nuestro día YA LLEGÓ!!! 🇨🇺🇨🇺🇨🇺
Ahora si se está formando! Come be a part of the celebration of history being made! 🙏🏼🇨🇺🎉❤️
After 67 years, they’re finally listening to us and we deserve to be heard.
Also, we deserve to PARTY!! 🎉In memory of our beloved Ziva Sahl, Fernando Marquez, Delia & Miguel Abascal and all our beloved dear ones who waited rather impatiently for this day. 🙏🏼🥰Que viva Cuba Libre!! 🇨🇺❤️
I’ll see you there!!🇨🇺🥰#patriayvida
#mybigfatcubanfamily
#quesevayan
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, friends! ☘️ Today I’m O’C Happy St. Patrick’s Day, friends! ☘️
Today I’m O’Cuban. But my mom used to say I was “sinvergüenza.”
It tracks. 🙄Sláinte! 🍻😉#belikemarta 🖖🏼😎
My family left Cuba in early 1961.My brother was My family left Cuba in early 1961.My brother was on the first Pedro Pan flight in December of 1960. Happily, my family was only separated for a few very tense months. But we were part of the lucky few who managed to leave the country rather quickly.Once reunited, my father vowed we’d never be separated again and so when my older sisters were to be married in California, he packed up the family and we never looked back.We lived in Miami for the first 3 years of our exile, before my parents moved us across the country, and so we made our lives in Southern California.As Cubans in California – “en el exilio del exilio” – we managed to find other Cuban families and connected with the familiar community of people who spoke our language and recognized our customs and our food.I’ve told the story of my family’s exile many times using whatever words the Lord sees fit to give my feeble brain.Tonight, I’m a white haired 70 year old grandmother (call me Wella😉) living in Southern California with the family my husband and I have created.My parents passed away years ago. (And I unabashedly miss them daily💔).What’s happening tonight (on the island that saw me born) is that the people have taken to the streets armed with nothing but pots and pans and have been banging them for 12 hours as of this writing, calling for “Libertad!”Who could believe we would actually see this day?
Who can sleep when freedom is so close you can taste it?Praying for the brave people of Cuba. May liberation come quickly! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼Also, I’m shining up my own pots and pans. It’s almost time.
There are just no words for this moment.
This is OUR Berlin Wall moment and the cracks are already stating to show.#patriayvida
#soscuba🇨🇺
#ohthecubanity🇨🇺
#cubalibre
Happy #305Day, Miami! ☕️🇨🇺With espresso love fro Happy #305Day, Miami! ☕️🇨🇺With espresso love from Southern California. ❤️#mybigfatcubafamily
#cafelallave
#305day
Public Service Announcement: 🗣️ “We’re all brave u Public Service Announcement:
🗣️ “We’re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings.”
Stay strong, my friends. 💪🏼
Happy Monday! 😉#mybigfatcubanfamily
Ahora como nunca, como lo dice mi socio, el gran @ Ahora como nunca, como lo dice mi socio, el gran @willychirino …“Nuestro día ya viene llegando.”May God be with the Cuban people as the hour draws near.
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
At this point, I feel like this is an important pu At this point, I feel like this is an important public service announcement.
Write it down. ✍🏼
🗣️Repeat it.
Believe it. 👍🏼
Don’t come at me. ✋🏼
Ya tu sabes. 😘#ohthecubanity🇨🇺
Happy International Coffee Day! ☕️Make mine @ca Happy International
Coffee Day! ☕️Make mine @cafelallave!Also, I’m celebrating 19 Years in the Blogosphere today! Woohoo!!🥳Please join me over on my blog for all the *“RELAJO!” 🎉💃🏻*(That’s Cuban for BIG FUN.)https://bit.ly/4gUtFqv
Where in the world is My Big Fat Cuban Family Mart Where in the world is My Big Fat Cuban Family Marta? 🌎 👀I’ve been so super obviously absent from all my socials, let alone my blog itself.
For a while there, I was overwhelmed by the once easy task of documenting my day-to-day life.Everywhere I looked, people moved on to high production video and I was hopelessly lost, so I put writing on the shelf and happily got caught up on all the seasons I’ve missed from the Great British Baking Show.But then, as I often say, “life is in session,” and my life was accumulating entire chapters before I could even type, “Oh, the Cubanity!”Which brings us to today. I’m starting to dip my toe back into writing online. Mostly, I miss the writing and telling about my extraordinarily ordinary life and the daily happenings at Casa de la Loma.So, tell me: Do you have any questions for me as I get back into the over-sharing of my days? 👀#mybigfatcubanfamily #belikemarta #callmewella #mbfcf
Starting my day as God intended. Amen. 🇨🇺☕️#cafe Starting my day as God intended. Amen. 🇨🇺☕️#cafecubano☕️
#cafelallave
Oh, the Cubanity!! 🇨🇺❤️#mybigfatcubanfamily Oh, the Cubanity!! 🇨🇺❤️#mybigfatcubanfamily
O’ Hi! 👋🏼 ☘️🇨🇺Always representing. 😉#mybigfat O’ Hi! 👋🏼 ☘️🇨🇺Always representing. 😉#mybigfatcubanfamily
#stpatricksday
Believe it. ☕️🥰❤️Happy Sunday, my friends. 🎉#o Believe it. ☕️🥰❤️Happy Sunday, my friends. 🎉#ohthecubanity🇨🇺
#belikemarta 🖖🏼😎
#thedrinkofmypeople🇨🇺☕️
I’m super crazy in love with my Christmas tree.🥰 A I’m super crazy in love with my Christmas tree.🥰
And @gloriaestefan singing about it makes it that much more beautiful. Am I right? 🤩I’m over here waiting (rather impatiently) for Noche Buena to arrive. ⏱️
Who’s with me? 👀☺️🎄🙌🏼❤️#arbolitodenavidad
#feliznavidad
#ohthecubanity🇨🇺
I have a gift for you today on the blog. 🎁 These C I have a gift for you today on the blog. 🎁 These Classic Cuban Crema de Vie printable labels designed by the lovely and talented @lucyruthdarby // I also share the recipe for our amazing Cuban egg nog. // 🇨🇺❤️ Merry Christmas, my friends.🎄 #itsacubanthing
bit.ly/2QJV2Ka
Best way to get from here to Noche Buena. Bring on Best way to get from here to Noche Buena. Bring on the @cafelallave
💚🗝️☕️🎄💃🏻🎶Feliz Navidad!!🎶🪅#cafelallave
#thedrinkofmypeople🇨🇺☕️
Felicidades, @anaqooks !!! I can’t wait to dig in! Felicidades, @anaqooks !!!
I can’t wait to dig in! So proud of you, my friend. 😘❤️🥰
Bacon Guava Cream Cheese Bites. You should totally Bacon Guava Cream Cheese Bites. You should totally make these for Thanksgiving. Also, practice taking bows and saying, “it was nothing.” 🇨🇺🎉🏆 Here’s the link -  bit.ly/GuavaBites #thefoodofmypeople #guavabites
Follow on Instagram

Follow Marta On Social

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

FEATURED POSTS

  • The Bench
    October 15, 2025
  • 19 Stories I’m Excited to Tell
    October 1, 2025
  • My Big Fat Cuban Cooking Playlist
    November 21, 2016
  • El Flan de La Reina Recipe
    July 27, 2016
  • Pastelitos de guayaba recipe with picturesPastelitos de Guayaba Recipe (Guava Pastry)
    July 27, 2016

Blog Archives

Recommended Services

Orange County Private Investigator
Enterprise SEO

Footer

Meet Marta

Marta Verdes Darby is a Cuban-American food blogger in South Orange County.

Connect

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Sign Up For My Newsletter

September 2012
MTWTFSS
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
« Aug   Oct »

Copyright © 2026 my big fat cuban family