WARNING: Intensely personal story coming up:
When Eric and I first met, the one line description of my life read as follows:
DIVORCED, THIRTY-THREE YEAR OLD MOTHER OF TWO.
I always thought of it like that. Like an Enquirer headline. It felt so dramatic and so final and so unappealing. It felt more like:
NO MONEY. NO LIFE. NO FUTURE.
When I met him, I was a single mother supporting my two kids, who were five and two. I worked as a graphic designer. I was committed to them and I was committed to remaining single because my kids came first.
But I had a promise from God. It is from the book of Jeremiah. The 29th chapter, the 11th verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I liked Eric immediately when I met him. So much so, that I tried to set him up with my friend, Chris. They didn’t hit it off and he kept coming around.
Our lives were so different, Eric’s and mine.
He was a single guy. I was a single parent.
There was really no future for us, even though we enjoyed being together, so we opted to become friends.
That was the safe alternative. (right?)
You can probably guess the rest. We were friends for a few years and then we both had that "aha!" moment.
When our friendship turned a corner. I tried to discourage him from pursuing me. I came with too much baggage and too many complications, not the least of which were Amy and Adam.
I would not even consider dating him if he wasn’t serious about them. I know this sounds terribly old-fashioned, but I took a vow before God when I had these kids. They were my highest priority.
So Eric and I duked it out for a few years trying to figure out if this was the best for everyone.
Obviously he won me over.
But here comes the best and most amazing part: He won my kids over.
The day we took our wedding vows, (Amy was nine and Adam was six) he made vows to them, too.
I am proud to say that he has kept his vows to the three of us.
It took a little bit of practice, but since I had Lucy after we’d been married one year, they started calling him "Dad." (for the baby’s sake =D)
Adam will tell you that it was Dad who taught him how to tie his shoes and ride his bike.
Amy will tell you it was Dad who taught her to drive.
In all the crowds of parents at football games and lacrosse games and wrestling matches and theater productions, the kids were always able to spot us, even with lights in their eyes. Because they could always hear Dad’s voice cheering them on.
When Lucy and Jonathan came along, of course he was thrilled, but he never treated Amy and Adam as anything other than his own.
He strings and tunes Adam’s guitar without being asked.
He makes sure Amy’s car has brake fluid and belts and all those things that girls never think to worry about. She doesn’t have to. Dad worries about it for her.
Eric is the one who by example has taught my daughters how special they are and how they deserve to be treated.
It is Eric who is the mentor for my sons, in business as well as relationships.
He always treats my mom with reverence and respect. He is generous in opening up our home not just to his 93-year old mother-in-law every few weekends, but to the big Cuban family he has inherited.
He has tremendous respect for his own parents and adores his sister, Michelle.
I still love to hear it when the kids call him "Dad."
I still love to look at his left hand and see the ring on it that symbolizes his commitment to me.
I love when he takes my mom’s arm and walks her to her chair.
I love so many things about him, obviously.
I’m grateful he has taken his vows so seriously, especially to those two lost kids whom he calls his own and who honor him by calling him "Dad."
When I talk to TPWRTU (The People Who Run The Universe), I always bring up Eric’s name and say "Thanks, God. You have most certainly kept your promise to me and given me "a hope and a future."
Because this man has been such a gift to us. He’s such a good husband. Such a good father. And such a good friend.
You’re probably tempted to ask, "who does he think he is? God’s gift?"
And I’d have to answer, "No, he doesn’t think so. But, we do." =D
Happy Father’s Day, Honey.
Amanda says
OMG, Marta, that was beautiful.Happy Father’s Day, Eric!
Melek says
Marta,Bravo!!!What poignant eloquence … straight from a grateful heart! God Bless y’all! & Happy Father’s Day to Eric … What a blessing, indeed!
I wish you well 🙂 Melek
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~ M. Proust
keb says
oh marti. I have tears in my eyes reading this paean of praise for yr wonderful eric, who is indeed a MAN OF HIS WORD. And i remember yr wedding day, esp that lovely moment when yr minister asked “Who gives this woman to this man?” & amy & adam yelled “We do!”
Britney Mellen says
You rock, you rock, you rock!
Amy says
Dad,Ditto what Mom said . . . by the way, my “Main’t Req” light came on in my car, what does that mean? 😉
Thanks for sharing Father’s Day with me. Thank you for helping me find purpose for me life (ha) Thanks for letting me win in arm wrestling matches. I couldn’t have asked for a better Dad. Te amo.
Susan says
I was going to bring up that fantastic heart-stirring moment from the wedding when they sang out (it was very melodic–not really a yell) with such apparent joy: “WE DO!” But someone beat me to it! :-)You absolutely did get the last good man at MVVCF (or anywhere in the vicinity or maybe the planet)… until my Mike walked in the doors of that high school multipurpose room not long after! 😉
Nancy says
What a marvelous story! Estoy llorando como una boba! With Father’s day this weekend, I would like to wish Eric a very happy father’s day. May God bless you all!