25 (and a Half) Years

It’s already February, people. Next week is Valentine’s Day. Wait. What happened to January? Is it just me? Or does time appear to be like Millennium-Falcon-in-hyperspace zooming away?

I’m having a serious case of Tempis Fugit* right now. (*that’s Latin for “time flies.” Yeah. All those years of Catholic really school paid off, didn’t they?)

Six months ago today, my husband, Eric and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. It’s only now (6 months later!) that I’m able to sit down and share the story with you, because 2017 felt like such a whirlwind. Also, because Valentine’s Day is coming up, I thought it would be nice to share this. Because it’s a Love Story.

So, today on our 25 and a half year wedding anniversary, let me tell you what happened 6 months ago…

My husband knows me. After all these years it should come as no surprise, of course, but he managed to pull off The Great Anniversary Caper of 2017 while living with me. ME! The consummate party planning goddess! 

He kept hinting that he was planning something for our 25th anniversary. It was 25 years (!), after all. That’s a milestone. That’s the silver one. It was going to be big. 

Our anniversary landed on a Tuesday and so it was not a big surprise that Eric planned a fun, local weekend getaway for the weekend before.

THE ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND

Yay for anniversaries and getaways!

He took me down to Carlsbad (about an hour south) to the fabulous West Inn & Suites where we had a beautiful suite and were treated to Champagne and chocolate strawberries by the attentive staff. 

Yay for anniversary celebrations! 

Our dear friends (and pastors), Ben and Stacie were also celebrating their 25th anniversary( just a week before!) and (unbeknownst to me) they were also staying at the West for the weekend. 

Yay for anniversary surprises! 

The four of us went to a perfect dinner at The Green Dragon Tavern. American history buff me was beside herself with joy. Good friends. Delicious food. American history. Read all about this amazing place right here. 

We toasted to our mutual 25 years of marriage and celebrated together. Look at our champagne!

Look at our food! What a great weekend anniversary celebration!

And that, I thought, was that. 

Our anniversary was still technically on Tuesday, and I was super satisfied with our weekend, so I made a suggestion: “I want to cook a big meal for both our families. We’ll eat out in the garden. It will be wonderful.” 

Eric (God bless him in every way) hesitated for a moment, but he didn’t blink. 

Slowly he asked: “What about inviting some of our other friends, too?’ 

Me: “No, no. Let’s just have both our families. It will be intimate and simple. That’s all I want.” 

Eric: “We could maybe have it catered…?”

Me: “No, no. I think I can do a better job. I want to cook.” 

Because this was now MY event. And it was MY vision. 

He agreed to my plan. I texted Stacie and invited everyone to our Anniversary Dinner Party.

Then Amy and Lucy began making suggestions for the dinner party. “Let’s all get dressed up.” I liked that. What a great idea. It would be more celebratory if we were dressed up. 

And so Anniversary Tuesday came around and I had Jon and the girls help set a big table in the garden as I went about prepping my simple, but delicious (not Cuban) menu: steaks, oven-roasted potatoes, sweet and fresh corn-on-the-cob, fresh asparagus, and a big green salad.

I enlisted the help of my amazing sous vide device (which I’ll tell you all about at a later time) and my trusty pressure cooker and went about making dinner for the 12 of us.

Lucy and Amy helped set the beautiful table. We had music playing to set the mood. It was all going to be quite lovely. And it totally was. Dinner turned out delicious. Everyone had seconds and it was pretty much exactly as I had envisioned. 

I was so proud of myself. Everything had unfolded according to my plan. “Let’s bring out the dessert.”

But Amy needed some help first getting the squirmy Sebastian’s diaper changed. Of course I would help her. 

The diaper change took approximately 2 minutes. Amy suggested I re-apply my lipstick (I taught my Cuban daughters well). So we had been gone for maybe a total of 3 minutes. 

THE REAL ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE

When we emerged from the bedroom, I could hear the strains of “our” song (“Have I Told You Lately” by Van Morrison) starting outside. How sweet of him to add this touch to what I thought was the end of our dinner party.

Then I saw Jon standing there with a large bouquet of red roses. I could see just over his shoulder that our pastor, Ben was standing before a trellis covered with twinkle lights (that was not there 3 minutes before!) next to Eric, who was sporting a red boutonniere. They stood at the end of an aisle between a dozen chairs that had miraculously appeared in the 3 minutes I had been gone. There were red and white rose petals scattered up this insta-aisle. Our families all seated on either side looking expectantly at my reaction as I walked in on my son’s arm.

It was then that I realized we were about to renew our vows. That was about the moment that the (ugly) crying began. (Full disclosure: I did NOT want to post the following photo because seriously…UGLY. CRYING. But this is me, authentically overwhelmed at that moment. C’est la vie.)

As I walked up that make-shift aisle with my son, Jon, I time-travelled back to our actual wedding day 25 years ago when my other son, Adam – then only 6 years old – walked me up the aisle to meet my soon-to-be husband. The parallel was not lost on me. *cue more ugly crying*

RENEWING OUR VOWS

I was almost (almost!) composed by the time I reached Eric’s side. Now that I understood what was happening I felt I could handle it less emotionally. WRONG. 

A few months before, Lucy had asked about the vows we took on our wedding day. Because we were preparing for her own upcoming nuptials it didn’t seem like a strange question. So I shared that I still had the pastor’s notes from our wedding day in 1992. The notes were tucked away in my bible on my nightstand. I showed her and she took a photo with her phone, you know, how the kids do that these days. 

Back to our present Surprise Vow Renewal Thing, and Ben our pastor began referring to the original vows we took on August 8th, 1992. *cue the ugly crying once again*

And let me tell you, after you’ve lived a lifetime with another person, when you say the “in sickness and in health” and “for richer for poorer” and “til death do us part” words, your mind tends to scan your mental rolodex for all those moments in your life, making the vows really REAL. Guess what happened to Marta right then.  Seriously, enough with the crying! 

THE LOVING CUP

Eric gave me a gift at that point. Silver for the 25th anniversary. An antique (170 years old) silver loving cup. 

Definition from Merriam-Webster – 1: a large ornamental drinking vessel with two or more handles; 2: a loving cup given as a token or trophy

I could not get on the other side of that ugly-crying. Ay, Dios mio. 

So we renewed our vows. And drank from the loving cup and toasted our 25 years of marriage. If you’ve made it to your 25th wedding anniversary, you totally deserve a trophy. Am I right?

We were surrounded by dearest family and friends (Adam, Alysha, and Asher Face-timed in). The night was so much more than I could have imagined. I mean, after all, I only imagined making a nice dinner.

My husband and friends and kids surprised me in such a profound and meaningful way. They seriously left me overwhelmed and breathless. 

I think that’s probably the real reason I couldn’t write about this 6 months ago when it all happened. I was coasting on the Wow-what-an-amazing-surprise of it all for days and weeks, but that’s not important right now. 

We cut the cake and I was finally able to catch my breath and laugh and delight in the Amazing Anniversary Surprise. We toasted again to the past 25 years and prayed for 25 more. 

Then Eric brought out his guitar. His guitar? What?

And played this song (which I happen to love but I never really listened to the lyrics), with everyone singing along to the chorus. I can’t even read the lyrics without busting out the big ugly tears. You know what happened next. *sigh* (I have this all on video, but I really think my loud gulping sobs take away from the lovely music, so I won’t over-share that part.) 

You can click on the song title to hear it, if you like. Not sung by Eric. But by the Proclaimers who do a fine job. 

“Life With You”

When I was a younger man
When I was a silly boy
I didn’t need a thing
I was strong as anything
I viewed solitude as a joy

But since I met you I’m distraught
You wandered in and now I’m caught
I never thought I would see
Someone so truly good
Someone who’s so everything I’m not

I want to spend my life with you
Don’t want to live all alone
I can’t conceive of the years left to me
Without you in our home

But what if what if what if what
If it’s not perfect then it’s not
But every care I take
Nothing I won’t forsake
To dwell beside what you’ve got

Every time I think about you
I think I can’t live without you
I tell you something I am nothing without you

I want to spend my life with you
Don’t want to live all alone
I can’t conceive of the years left to me
Without you in our home

I want to spend my life with you
Don’t want to live all alone
I can’t conceive of the years left to me
Without you in our home.

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