When I started writing over-sharing on this blog six years ago, I had made the decision that I didn't want to ever complain. (I follow that rule in my real life, too, but that's not important right now.)
I seriously have so much to be grateful for, and I swear I do lead a charmed life. But like everyone else, I go through a rough patch now and then. Many of those things I've chosen not to write about, but now I'm wondering if you (my readers) wouldn't benefit more from my honesty. Or at least a good explanation for why I have been writing intermittently…
When I wrote about my struggle with Fibromyalgia I was humbled by your tremendous response and how many of you identified with me. I'm so grateful. This has made me feel more brave in sharing what's happening right now.
A few weeks back, just as I was getting over the sinus/bronchitis/pneumonia thing, I got a pain that was not my usual just-a-stiff-neck-you've-been-sitting-on-your-c0mputer-much-too-long pain. The back of my neck went into a spasm and the pain and tingling radiated from my neck, down my shoulder to my arm and over to the front of my neck and face.
People, I'm pretty sure no one's face is supposed to tingle.
I was not happy. Not. Happy.
There was an emergency room visit and muscle relaxants prescribed and then an MRI.
Can I just tell you that the whole MRI business was one of the most profoundly unpleasant experiences of my life. This is the thing where you are strapped to a bed and slid into a tube and have to keep perfectly still while the magnetic resonance imaging happens. (If you can bring your own music and convince the technician that Celia Cruz really is much more soothing to you than the Pandora Easy Listening station, you'll do sooo much better.)
Even with Celia at my side, I'd really rather not have to do that ever again, thankyouverymuch.
But I did it. And the diagnosis is a bulging disk in my neck that is pinching a nerve that's causing the radiating pain. (I so wish I was not writing over-sharing about this, but that's not important right now, either.)
This bulgy-disk-pinched-nerve deal is affecting my life in so many ways. It's tough to sleep, which is already not my strong suit (see: the Fibromyalgia post). I have a constant ringing in my ears, which is making my hardness of hearing even harder. (Seriously, this is so embarrasing.)
I'm in physical therapy now and receiving treatment, but I'm not loving this season of my life. I feel weak and I feel vulnerable. And did I mention the weird tingly-face thing? But again, I've determined to live my life without pretending anymore, so there you have it.
In fact, I was tempted to stop blogging altogether, but something happened last week that made me change my mind. I'll write about that tomorrow.
So, here I am again. Sorry for the long break in my writing over-sharing, but I've been a bit out of sorts. But I'll get through this.
I found this quote and wrote it on the pantry chalkboard in the kitchen. I was inspired by it.
It says: "Expect problems…and eat them for breakfast." ~Alfred A. Montapert.
I like that.
Besides, with Celia's voice in my headphones, I found I can do anything.
Pa'lante y con fe.
Marta keep over-sharing please.It makes us all feel closer to you, mi hermana. Pa’lante, pa’tras ni pa’cojer impulso!
Sometimes the answer for a bulging disk is surgery(if therapy doesn’t work)
Been there, Done that.
good luck.
i think this is going to be my favorite quote, from now on
” “Expect problems…and eat them for breakfast.” ~ another one is :
“In the midst of winter I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”
Albert Camus
Marta, you are not over sharing. It is part of our lives to be going thru stuff that we don’t like. That is part of life. If everything was always good and we were always cheerful we would be in denial, because everybody is going thru some kind of trial.I have heard that acupuncture is the best treatment for back pain. And not to consider surgery, definitely no fusing of bones. I will keep my eye opened for your comments…Hugs to you today.
Loving you mucho and sending you much strength and persistence and freedom from pain! Un abrazo fuerte!
Bless you Marta, hope all will turn out great for you.I understand the fear of the MRI worst thing in the world, I couldn’t stop crying.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this all! Kiss!!
Good luck. Getting old is hard – we feel like we can still do the things we did even a few months back. Take care of yourself and pamper yourself. Surgery may be the answer – I know it’s hard. hang in there and don’t stop blogging….
I appreciate your sharing so much Marta. I too suffer from fibromyalgia and it is such a misunderstood ailment. I am sorry you had to undergo the MRI. I detest them and will consider an open MRI in the future. Getting older is tough. You do feel vulnerable and frightened. I have gone through many physical and emotional changes in the past few years since turning 50 and I can relate completely with your experiences. But as you mention, it is important to remember to be thankful. Getting old, after all, is a privilege that many people are not fortunate enough to experience. We just need to embrace our changing bodies and learn to love and take care of ourselves more. Mucho animo Marta y muchas bendiciones!!
Not over sharing. Sending hugs and prayers for a speedy recovery.
Have missed your posts, bit glad to hear you have answers. I don’t mind the over sharing; things happen! Hope you get some rest.
Ay, Marta! I take my hat off to you! Please keep oversharing as you say! I am claustrophobic and cannot even imagine ni que te amarren ni que te metieron en ese tubo, Ay Santisima! If I ever have to do this, you will give me courage by example and I may just need to place you on speed dial!! Espero mejores pronto.
Thanks for your constant support, Cali.xoxo,
M
I hope I don’t have to have surgery. Still babying it and working on conquering this bump in the road.Besos,
Marta
Thanks for your hugs and constant support, Esther.I just got a referral for a wonderful accupuncturist. That’s something I don’t think I’ll be blogging about. LOL!
Thanks, Monica, my friend.Besos,
M
Thanks for getting me, Maria. I guess there are worse things in the world. I’m just a big coward.xoxo,
Marta
Kiss!
Thanks for your kind words, Lourdes.I’ll keep blogging. It’s the best therapy I have!
I’ll take your “animo.” And your “bendiciones!”Besos,
Marta
Thank you, Ziva, my friend. xoxo
Thanks for the permission to continue to over-share, Jackie. Ahora si!;-)
I’m already getting better, though not 100%I hope never to have to do this again.
Gracias, my friend.