I've never shared this with anyone but my very closest friends. I've been writing here at My Big, Fat, Cuban Family for 6 years and I have never even broached this topic, but that's not important right now.
I suffer from fibromyalgia. Which means I live in pretty much constant pain.
I don't talk about it because, well, frankly, who needs to have this information? And I really think complaining is a sin, but that's not important right now.
But I determined that I would be more honest this year and it is, after all, my space. So here it is.
It began shortly after my 40th birthday and the birth of my youngest son, Jonathan. My body started to react stupidly. My joints hurt more than usual. I forgot how to fall asleep and stay asleep. And things just got worse from there.
I have an abnormal reaction to pain. My feet hurt so badly I can barely walk some days. Exercise is hit and miss depending on my comfort level. I have to take some pretty intense meds to calm the pain so I can attempt to sleep at night, but they make me stupid and they cause me to swell. (Like we People of the Round Face don't have enough to deal with!)
I feel very depressed and desperate sometimes. When the fibro gets really bad, I spend the entire day trying to find relief. When I get stressed, all the symptoms get intensified and it feels like I've been run over by a truck.
Wearing high heels is agony. (This is the ultimate low for me as a Cuban woman. *sigh*)
To make matters worse, I can't take ibuprofen-type pain meds, which would probably help. I'm allergic. (Le sumba el mango, right?)
I hate it. I hate the life-defining aspect of it. I hate being weak. I hate the constant pain. I hate wondering how much pain my body will be in when I get invited places. The chronic fatigue makes getting out of bed difficult some days.
But I keep going and push through the pain. And I have a fantastic support system in my husband, Eric and my family and close friends. Because of them, I still maintain that I lead a charmed life.
I still make dinner for my family every night. I still care for my aging mom. I still paint sets and design costumes for my son's drama productions. I still host elaborate parties. I do my best to make sure that my husband and kids do not suffer just because I do. I still find time to scrapbook and create and document my life. And I still write about my extraordinarily ordinary life right here in this space.
Because of my bad days, I'm extra grateful for the good ones. Because of the pain, I'm more empathetic to those around me. Because of the sleepless nights, I take more time to pray.
I live in constant pain. But I live in constant gratitude. Which is where I begin when I sit down to blog. I'm grateful for so very much and I don't feel like I want to complain. Which is why I am always celebrating.
So, you see, for me, living with fibro is a curse. And a blessing.
You are a better man than me Gunga Din! I complain ALL the time…I’m glad you get up and get movin’ and get on here to bless us quite often, but I give you permission to not if you need to take care of yourself. Three cheers for a hubby who helps and a family that supports!!! Love you Martica!
Very honest, Marta. You are not alone and you are blessed with Eric and your family. Thank you for entertaining us with your wonderful blog despite your daily pain. You have brought so much joy and many smiles to my days. Keep going even tho you hurt! We would all miss you if you stopped writing.Love you,
Amy
I love you and your round face makes me happy!!! You are such a talent and a light and your daily Cuban celebrations makes me want to be Cuban!!! You are such a blessing to those near and not so near! Hugs to you!!! I miss your beautiful sets and your sons humor.Shan
Wow. That is how it’s done – with grace.
This is such a difficult thing to deal with! I have many friends that suffer from it too. I love your attidude so much, mi amiguita! I will pray for you!P.S. Ok, I love the lipstick you are wearing here (red) what is it?? haha. I really ,really want to know 🙂
And here I thought I couldn’t admire you more than I already do. You are a true WARRIOR PRINCESS! XOXOXO
Wow Marta,I truly admire your outlook and determination to enjoy what you have. I have a nephew that suffers from it too, he was diagnosed at 22 and I know its not easy to deal with. Thank you so much for entertaining us with your wonderful blog… Keep on trucking Woman!!!!
Thank you for your heart of humility in sharing about your pain and struggle with fibro. In the midst of all your pain, your heart and gift of hospitality never cease in making us feel at home. Thank you for your example my friend. I pray the Lord brings you comfort as he sees fit, for His glory alone.Un abrazo muy fuerte!
Ody
By the way, I LOVE LOVE the short curly hair on you!!! You look marvelous. 🙂
I couldn’t sleep tonight because my body hurts and no matter what I take the pain doesn’t die down. I came to your site to relax and focus on something else and boom I find this post. I too suffer from fibro. I was diagnosed when I was 26, I.m 30 now and there are days I think I wont be able to make it another day especially when the foot pain starts. (Which i.m glad you mentioned it because my dr. Did a battery of test and couldnt figure out what is causing my pain and i never thought to link it to the fibro) I feel your pain and you have actually inspired me that you are still able to do all that you do. Thank you for sharing this with us since it can serve as encouragement for those that are suffering from this horrid disease. Thank you!
Dame la mano,mi hermana! I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia over 3 years ago. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s one of those “invisible” illnesses that most people don’t understand. “You don’t look sick, you are so happy all the time,maybe if you just exercise more”, and on and on. I,as a Cuban woman raised to just move on and take care of all of those around me, understands. Please feel free to send me a message anytime you need a sympathetic ear.Know that you are not alone <3,
Margaret
And here you are sharing & making us smile, laugh, reminisce….you are inspiring. Hang in there–Dale, que tu puede !
You’re an extremely inspiring woman and if you have ever questioned the who and the why, just look at the comments that have been left for you and we are the who and the why!P.S. That is a fantastic picture of you!
Thanks, Kiki!Next time I’m too wiped to blog, I’ll just say, “Kiki gave me permission not to.”
Love you back.
xoxo,
M
Thank you, Miss Amy.I appreciate your kind words. I have to say that the last time we visited you, Gloria’s therapy made me feel so much better. Or maybe it was the peacefulness of your sweet town?
Besos,
Marta
Shannon,You made me LOL. Thank you for saying such nice things. I’ll clue you in the next time my son is on stage and you can enjoy him for yourself!
M
😉
The lipstick is called Backstage Beauty by Lancome.And, thank you.
Marta
Oooh! Warrior Princess!I LOVE!!
xoxo,
M
Not easy, but what other option do I have?Thanks for faithfully reading.
Marta
I appreciate your prayers and your kind words. Thanks, Ody.Un besote to you!
Marta
Getting used to it again. I’ll have to blog about this journey of finding my Inner Curly Girl.Thanks!
Vanesita,I’m glad I could be here for you. The foot pain is alleviated some by a prescription drug called Gabapentin.
My doc found heavy metal toxins and is attributing a lot of my problems to that. Quien sabe?
I am doing some chelation therapy and taking mega-doses of Vitamin B. It seems to help.
Keep the faith.
Marta
I can’t help it! It’s in my Cuban DNA.Pa’lante!
Marta
Suzy,Thank you for being so nice to me. When you say I’m inspiring, it makes me feel a little taller somehow. 😉
xoxo
Thanks for your kindness and sharing, Margaret.I have been so timid about sharing some of these things. I’m a little stunned to find so much love and support. It feels great to know I’m not alone.
Besos,
Marta
Hello! I’m not one to leave comments and the like but I just had to write at least a few words to let you know how GREAT I think you are! I came across your page/blog through a friend’s page on Facebook and I have been hooked ever since. You certainly have a way with words and you are just so witty…your post always make me smile. (I think being cuban helps!!) After reading this story regrading your Fibromyalgia, I admire you even more. Few people with your condition would be as upbeat and happy as you are, and that is admirable! Your great attitude towards everything speaks volume about you! Keep up the great work and your positive outlook!!PS: Your cream de vie was quite the hit with my crazy cuban family. And don’t get me started on you mom, she is adorable!!!! 😉
Hi Barbie,Welcome!
I appreciate that you took the time to comment and thank you for your encouraging words.
So glad the creme de vie was a hit! You should make it all the time and don’t forget to take a bow when you get the inevitable praise. 😉
Besos,
Marta
So sorry to hear of your fibromyalgia, Marta. I never would have guessed that you suffer so much daily, since you always come across as the most up-beat, positive person!But, “no hay mal que por bien no venga” and you teach us a lot by your example. So thanks for sharing this painful aspect of your life. And, other than offering prayers, I’m sharing this link of Dr. Andrew Weill. He is a proponent of all natural health remedies and you may find something of interest in what he says about fibromyalgia.
http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART02975/Treatment-of-Fibromyalgia.html
Cariños~
We have one more thing in common dear Marta. I have battled with Fibro for almost 30 years. (Did you get my email? Never heard back from you…..Hugs and Blessings,
Your friend,
Prudence
I have suffered with Fibro and some of the accompanying Auto-Immune Disorders some of us also have. My problems and pain have keep me almost totally bedridden for 10 years.All of my 40’s. You are blessed that you are able to do so many things to help keep your family, friends and Bloggers happy. And now with your blog you are reaching others who can better relate to you and have hope. With your big smile and beautiful curls, you are an inspiration to many!!!
You don’t have to live with full blown fibro. I’m afraid to say but the Cuban diet is detrimental to the health. Look into going raw with lots of home-made green juices…. or do a juice fast for 30 or 60 days….. you’re life will be changed. Watch the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead on Amazon, it’s free.
Thank you for sharing on this topic! I, too, suffer from fibromyalgia, and it’s hard for me to talk about it with others. I don’t know if I’ve ever blogged about it, but you’ve given me the courage to try writing a post on the subject. And I miss high heels, too…. 🙁
You inspire me. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 11 years old and have always been in constant pain. I’m 22 now and reading your post was as if I had written it myself. I know exactly the pain that you mean. It’s not really easy to describe, and like you I avoided telling anyone that I suffered from it for most of my life. The past two years have been especially hard for me, and I want to thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone in this.Your Fellow Cubana
-Lauren
I recently have some difficult conversations and I did what a lot of people do when they want to know how to do something. I googled it. I came across Dr Hazim herbal medicine on blog-site so many people thanking him about his good work. I also have fibromyalgia. I wasn’t running all over God’s creation with every man I could find but here I am. I have felt bad about myself for so many years now because of my fibromyalgia status. I obviously still have some self-accepting to do but I want to thank Dr Hazim for everything he have done for my family ,after taking Dr Hazim medicine i was completely free from fibromyalgia within one month of usage, I think what you are doing is so admirable. you have helped me a lot! I want to definitely reach out to you and thank you for your amazing work. You are a good person, and an extremely talented man. You have helped millions with your herbs, and have really inspired me,and i pray you still continue doing the good work.you can also email him on [email protected] or send him messages on whatsApp at +2349058026857 for help