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Keeping My Promise

March 4, 2010 By Marta Darby 23 Comments

I used to visit my parents at least once a week.

My dad was confined to a wheelchair and in his late 80's, but his brain was sharp as ever.

Papi
We would sit at their kitchen table and talk about anything, everything, and nothing. You know, like you do with the most familiar people in your life. Even though the kids would visit with me and be in and out of the room, he always asked very specifically about each one.

He was an avid reader and especially loved books about adventure. I mentioned that I was reading Treasure Island to Adam (who was young then and loved to be read to) and we both agreed that Robert Louis Stevenson was a genius.

It was in the midst of this discussion that he looked at me very seriously as if something had just occurred to him, and said, "I want you to do something for me."

Imagining it had to do with going to the store to buy him some fresh bread or some such errand, I quickly agreed. "Of course. What can I do for you?"

"There's a poem by Robert Louis Stevenson that I love. When I die, I want you to take my ashes back to Cuba and scatter them in Pinar del Rio. And read this poem."

I don't think I answered immediately. It was such a shocking request in the middle of what was otherwise an ordinary visit.

"You're serious?"

"Yes. And I know if you promise me, that you'll keep your promise."

"I promise."

He went on to tell me that he wished it could be when Cuba was free, but that he understood that might not be possible and to do what I could.

Then we resumed our conversation about books and the kids and I did go to the store for that fresh loaf of bread.

And I didn't think too much about that conversation, until he died six months later.

My mom would remind me occasionally of the promise I had made to Papi. And I kept trying, but I couldn't find a way to make it happen.

I had scheduled a trip in the spring of 2003 and two weeks before I was to leave, 75 dissidents were rounded up and imprisoned by the Castro thugs in Cuba. I canceled my trip. (That crackdown is referred to as The Black Spring.)

I was discouraged and I felt it would be impossible for me to keep my promise.

Ten long years now, Papi has been gone. His ashes sitting in the back of a closet.

But yesterday, against all odds, my daughter, Amy, made good on the promise I had made back in May of 1999. She went to Cuba. She took his ashes. She made her way to Pinar del Rio. To the beautiful land that saw his birth and where he lived for a half a century.

Yesterday, on March 3rd, 2010, my Papi was finally laid to rest in the Valley of Viñales. Amy will tell that story when she returns from Cuba next week.

Viñales 

But for now, I cried a bucketful of tears and I sighed a big sigh of relief. And I think, maybe, so did he.

I love you, Papi. Rest in peace.

Requiem
by Robert Louis Stevenson

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This is the verse you grave for me:
'Here he lies where he longed to be;
Here is the sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

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My Father’s Day Gift Almost 50 years. Kikita and the Ashes Go To Cuba Stuffing Stockings With Future Promise

Filed Under: Cuban-American Life, My Big, Fat, Cuban Family Tagged With: kikita's trip to cuba, travel

Previous Post: « Drama is My Life.
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. mario says

    March 4, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    Ay, Marta, how you’ve made me weep with your beautiful story. The cloth that holds all of us exiles together are these stories of holding our island close. I’m so happy that your Papi has made it back home. I join you in your pride for Amy and cannot wait til she is home to tell the tale.

    Reply
  2. Ivis Suarez says

    March 5, 2010 at 4:09 am

    So Beautiful. My grandfather is still alive and living close by(thankfully). He is 86, with a super sharp mind, and also from Pinar Del Rio, so this story hits home.

    Reply
  3. Kiki Bacaro says

    March 5, 2010 at 4:49 am

    Ay Marti, thank you for sharing this. Can’t wait to hear from Kikita!

    Reply
  4. Chantel says

    March 5, 2010 at 5:29 am

    Thanks for sharing, Marta. A beautiful and apt poem, I think.

    Reply
  5. maria eugenia says

    March 5, 2010 at 5:39 am

    Just beautiful! Your words touched me so much. God bless you and your wonderful daughter for honoring your dad’s last wish. It is something you will treasure forever. I also can’t wait to read about Amy’s impressions of Cuba.

    Reply
  6. Marcia says

    March 5, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Marta, you have no clue how meaningful these words are to me. My Papi passed away in 2004, finally giving in to Alzheimer’s he wrestled with since his 50’s in a perfectly healthy body. He was humility and kindness personified. I too have the task ahead of me involving his ashes which my mom keeps with her until she can take them to Cuba. It has been six years and I still don’t think any of us are ready. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  7. Ernesto Suárez says

    March 5, 2010 at 6:55 am

    This makes me cry for many reasons. I too hope to return one day, even if just as ashes…

    Reply
  8. Melek says

    March 5, 2010 at 7:25 am

    Just beautiful!!!May he rest in peace!
    I wish you well 🙂 Melek
    “La patria es dicha, dolor y cielo de todos y no feudo ni capellanía de nadie.” ~ Jose Marti

    Reply
  9. Kristen says

    March 5, 2010 at 7:43 am

    Beautiful. God bless you, my friend.

    Reply
  10. HENRY AGUEROS says

    March 5, 2010 at 7:57 am

    Marta, my heart and prayers are with you and family. God bless Amy my little 100% Cubanita for taking her grandfather home.A friend always,
    Henry Agueros Garces

    Reply
  11. Ody says

    March 5, 2010 at 7:59 am

    Beautiful entry Marty. Your Papi is very proud of you!!! Thank you for sharing with us one of the most important and personal duties given to you. May this peace in your heart today, follow you into eternity.

    Reply
  12. Cubanita says

    March 5, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Beautiful, Marta… there is really not much more that can be said.

    Reply
  13. Michele Caridad says

    March 5, 2010 at 9:36 am

    sitting in my office, crying at the end of your amazing journal entry …i think of how crazy it is that our parents and even us…cannot be in our our soil, to die where we want and live how we want and i also think of all my grandparents and family who have passed on, all here 90 miles away yet it feels like a million. I think of promises we make to our parents who have risked it all to get us here to live in freedom yet long to be home every so often…i feel you and your heart-ache today as so many roles you play, aa a proud and grateful MOM, as a mourning and thoughtful daughter, and as a cubanita who has just lived life since you got to this place…I think he’s prouder of you both today than ever…not only for getting him “home” but for being great women and much more importantly… a TEAM!

    Reply
  14. Ileana says

    March 5, 2010 at 9:39 am

    Can’t stop crying. Both heartbreaking & heartwarming. God bless you.

    Reply
  15. Leesa says

    March 5, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    A beautiful heart rendering story about pure love… Not a dry eye here after reading this.

    Reply
  16. wendy says

    March 5, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    aw, you made me cry. thats just awesome.

    Reply
  17. Yono Senada says

    March 6, 2010 at 5:25 am

    Bravo!

    Reply
  18. Mike D. says

    March 6, 2010 at 9:34 am

    what a wonderful post !!!

    Reply
  19. jackie says

    March 6, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Another crier here. Beautiful post. I can’t wait to read more about Amy’s trip!

    Reply
  20. Mica says

    March 6, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    I have no words, just tears. Thanks for sharing.xoxo

    Reply
  21. alby says

    March 7, 2010 at 12:51 am

    this is beautiful & really touched me as a cuban woman myself. may your father rest in peace in his beloved pinar del rio. my grandmother was also born there and i have passed through there myself on a visit to cuba last august, it has such beautiful scenery. god bless you and yours.

    Reply
  22. keb says

    March 8, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    I remember how close you got to going to cuba in 2003 & yr disapptmt – how could we know then God had it in mind for Amy to go w/ Luz? What a story. I’m so glad you could finally fulfill that promise to Papi, to make sure he “lies where he longed to be.”

    Reply
  23. Mary Martinez says

    March 18, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Beautiful!My Dad passed away a couple of years ago…he was also a special person. One day I will take him back to his beloved land so he can rest in peace.
    Que descansen en paz
    Saludos

    Reply

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