My dad passed away on December 11th, 1999. He and my mom would have celebrated their 60th anniversary just 3 weeks later on December 31st.
To this day, when asked how long they were married, my mom will always answer, "Casi 60 años." Translation: "Almost 60 years."
It's as if she feels like she's lying to just say 60 years. She has to add the "casi." Almost.
Every December 31st she gets phone calls from old friends and extended family. No one forgets that my parents were married on New Year's Eve.
But December will always be bittersweet. December will always have that "almost" attached to it.
On March 3rd of this year, my daughter, Amy Kikita took my father's ashes and scattered them in Pinar del Rio, keeping a promise I had made to him so many years ago. She wisely chose a very specific and easily identifiable spot in case his descendants ever want to visit him there. (Read all the posts about Amy's Cuba trip here.)
This year, as part of our Christmas video, I cut together a piece documenting Amy and Luza's trip to Cuba. It includes the reunion of the Perez-Puelles siblings and Amy's visits to the sites of my childhood memories.
The lyrics to the song, La Cuba Mia (by Celia Cruz) talk about going back without looking back, living to forgive, and returning without bitterness to my Cuba.
My dad returned to his Cuba this year. "Almost" 50 years after he left.
Rest in peace, Papi.
La Cuba Mia – Celia Cruz
Quiero pasear sin amargura
Por la calle de tu recuerdo
Y rescatar por fin al niño de mi pensamiento
Porque el tiempo y la memoria
(porque el tiempo y la memoria)
Juegan juntos en nuestra historia
Se me fue toda una vida
(se me fue toda una vida)
Y tu imagen no se me borra, no, no, no
Quiero volver sin mirar atrás
Poder vivir para perdonar
Quiero sentir, quiero regresar
A la Cuba mía
(quiero volver sin mirar atrás
Poder vivir para perdonar
Quiero sentir, quiero regresar
A la Cuba mía)
Se me confunden con los años
Las imágenes en mis sueños
Pero te sigo recordando
Tierra mía cada momento
Con el son y con la clave
(con el son y con la clave)
Con el sol y la arena suave
Y mi mente se imagina
(y mi mente se imagina)
Caminando por santos suárez
Quiero volver sin mirar atrás
Poder vivir para perdonar
Quiero sentir, quiero regresar
A la Cuba mía
(quiero volver sin mirar atrás
Poder vivir para perdonar
Quiero sentir, quiero regresar
A la Cuba mía)
(quiero volver)
Quiero volver, quiero cantar,
Quiero abrazar y disfrutar
A la Cuba mía
(quiero volver)
Seguro que a allí volveremos
Y en tu nombre cantaremos
Como lo quisiste tú
… a la Cuba mía
(quiero volver) sin mirar atrás
(poder vivir) para perdonar
(quiero sentir), quiero regresar
(a la Cuba mía), a la Cuba mía
(con tu arenga y tu son, oye
Conquistaste al mundo entero
Y cuba fue lo primero siempre
Dentro de tu corazón… Celia)
(quiero volver sin mirar atrás
Poder vivir para perdonar
Quiero sentir, quiero regresar
A la Cuba mía, a la Cuba mía
A la Cuba mía)… a la Cuba mía.
There are no words to describe the feelings that this beautiful video invokes in me. Every Cuban feels the pull of the island and longs to return. How wonderful it must have been for your mom to see her siblings and her beloved country again, and how bittersweet to do so without your dad. Politics aside, family is sacred and the love for one’s childhood home can never be erased. My parents never lived to see their country again, but I plan to return soon, to embrace the family I have never forgotten.
So beautiful, Marta. Tears first thing in the morning. Un abrazo fuerte para tu mama, y para todos. Happy New Year, my friend.
Good Morning Marta~ The video was wonderful. Made me feel a little weepy even though I never met your father. It was a beautiful tribute. “Almost” 60 years of marriage is what marriage should be. Staying together. I stopped by to wish you a very Happy New Year. I always enjoy your blog and am fascinated by your ability to always keep it fresh and interesting. All the best to you and your family. Love, Amy
When I saw the video, my eyes watered. How wonderful that that he was finally laid to rest where he most wanted. And how awesome that a love like theirs survived the most difficult of trails. Like my parents, leaving your own country to begin a new life in another without knowing the language or the customs must have been very scary and with kids to raise and feed. My mom and dad were married for 49years when he passed this past August, but my mom always included the five years de novio, making it 54 years of dicha plena, as she would say.May you have a wonderful and blessed New Years my friend. I look forward to many more of your wonderful postings. Un besote muy grande!!!!
Tears…always when I watch one of your videos Marta! You are gifted in many, many ways. You eloquently document your past, present and future, and invite us all in to savor the tastes and revel in the love that is your family life.May 2011 bring you many good things, and please keep posting and inspiring us with your life so well lived!
Carinos!
Angie Garcia
Thank you, Chantel! I loved your New Year’s post today.Muchos besos!
Hello, Amy, my friend!I love that you love my blog. 😉
Eric and I miss you guys! We’re making it a point to come and visit you and Desi in the coming new year.
Happy New Year!
Thank you for your kind words, Ody. I love how your mom embraces all 54 years. You made me smile.Prospero Año Nuevo!
Hi Angie,You made me tear up, too!
Thank you. Many blessings to you in this coming year.
Besos!
Dear Maria Eugenia,Ojala que se te de tu viaje como lo sueñas.
Raising my glass to you in a toast:
“El año que viene estamos en Cuba.”
Blessings, my friend!
Amen. Besos and many blessings to you too!
Marta! Yes! Please DO come visit us soon. Miss love you. xoxo Amy
oh marti – what a marvelous video, it was an unexpected boon to travel w/ Amy & Luz thru the photobook (& of course I now know how much effort assembling the video entailed). Like everyone else, I’m crying too: seeing the pic of yr dad placed on the rocks is such a compelling & enduring image. Rest in peace, Papi!
What a wonderful video. Thanks for sharing, Happy New Year mi amiga. xoxo
I want to return as well and take my mom and dad’s ashes as they also would have wanted. Especially mi Papi. Thank you for your inspiring video. I’m packing my bags…❤????