There is a (faux) "Cuban" restaurant in a city one area code away from us. I won’t even mention it’s name because it was so awful.
I suppose an unbiased person (which, when it comes to Cuban food, I am so NOT) would have been taken in by the lovely patio ambiance and the "soft" salsa floating out of the concealed speakers. And for a moment, they almost had me.
But then they brought out the . . . mango chutney.
"MANGO CHUTNEY???" (yes, I think I yelled out the question. I’m not really sure because I was a bit crazed at that moment, and mango chutney might be really good in another context, but that’s not important right now.)
"For one thing, Cubans eat mangoes, the fruit. Period. We don’t try to create other food with it! And CHUTNEY??? What on earth is chutney??" (okay, I know what chutney is, but that’s not important right now, either.)
(I’m ranting this to no one in particular, except for my poor husband, who knows this litany by heart)
"Seriously, how would you even pronounce chutney in Spanish???"
Here’s a lesson in basic Cuban food – It must be simple, but tasty.
Now, repeat after me:
"Ajo, cebolla, cumino, laurél."
Say it again:
"Ajo, cebolla, cumino, laurél."
(Ah-ho, Seh-boy-ah, Ku-mee-no, Lao-rel – it means "garlic, onion, cumin, bay leaf")
THAT is Cuban Spice!
Is anyone listening? (sigh)
Get your "Cuban Spice" apron or "Cuban Spice" tee at my online store: Cuba To Go!
I made dessert over at Babalú today. A Dulce de Leche Cheesecake.
Okay, so "cheesecake" is technically not Cuban food, but the minute I added the Homemade Dulce de Leche, it crossed over. See how I just did that?
Go try it and see if your taste buds aren’t doing a conga after the first bite. 😉
Susan-So I was right! The owners of the faux-Cuban restaurant are British or Indian. For SURE they are not Cuban. Mango and Chutney are ADORABLE names for monkeys (just don’t try to pass them off as Cuban). =D
Besos!
Marta
Mango chutney is a VERY common condiment here in England, as a result of the long-standing connection with India. It is normally served with pappadoms (one of JoMo’s favorite foods), among other things. It is yummy! My southern grandmother, who was raised in part in Puerto Rico (okay, okay, I know….) and in North Carolina, used to make her own mango chutney all the time. The sweetness and tanginess of the mango chutney goes great with spicy food. In fact, mango chutney is such an everyday part of our lives that when JoMo was given two monkeys at birth (by two different people….), Mike named one Mango and the other Chutney!NOT sure of the Cuban connection. Other than the Caribbean was considered the West Indies at one point (and in some parts there has been an influx of immigrants from the Indian subcontinent, largely though in former British colonies).
There was an allegedly Cuban restaurant in Memphis for a while, but when my former boyfriend, who is from Miami (although not Cuban) and I went there to eat, we discovered that they didn’t even know what a colada was and that they charged $4.50 for a cortadito. John was livid. When we would visit Miami, the first thing he would do after getting the car was stop at a coffee stand for his colada. You know — the Cuban coffee that costs 75 cents? (I would get a batido de guayaba and a medianoche.)When we discovered that the restaurant was actually owned by Venezuelans, he shouted, “Fake Cubans! I knew it all along!”
Ah! a Rant! I Love rants. I’m the rantmeister. I keep coming here in the hopes someday you’ll rant about you-know-who..someday..maybe. in the meantime I laugh at your stories..mago chutney…pfftt..I bet Kevin Bacon loves mango chutney, btw.
Marta, I share your pain. Imagine:Spicy Duck Ropa Vieja
Shredded duck, manchego cheese corn cake, marinated Cuban style tomatoes and watercress
Or how about:
Grilled Baby Back Ribs
Tomatillo barbeque sauce and jalapeno mojo with yuca fries and jicama slaw
It’s LA, it’s all about fusion. Asian/Mexican/fill in the blank. I don’t want fusion,(not that the food doesn’t sometimes taste good) but when I want Cuban food, I want it to be Cuban. Is that too much to ask?