My Big Fat Cuban Family: A Cuban-American Blog

Coffee and Therapy

When Lucy was a freshman in high school, her drama class did a showcase of Broadway tune vignettes. In one of them (maybe it was Grease?) she was paired up with one of the boys to do a dance together in the finale.

The mother of the boy and I didn't know each other before then, but we sat together and pointed in a look-at-our-kids-aw-aren't-they-cute-dancing-together way.

Lucy and Josh looking appropriately awkward before the dancing. Also, she's probably going to kill me for posting this photo, but that's not important right now.

This boy's mom and I started nodding hello more often and talking after rehearsals. When summer came, the kids wanted to do a beach day, which is exactly what we did.

We all went down to Crystal Cove and while they frisbeed and body-surfed and sun bathed, us moms talked. And talked. And talked. And found that as different as we both were, we had so, so much in common. And never seemed to run out of things to say.

"Let's do this again next week."

So, we did. That was in the summer of 2008 and Jana (my blog-friend from The Summer House) and I have been meeting at least once a week since then. For Coffee and Therapy. Every week. For the past 5 years.

Josh has been away at college for a few years now. Lucy is working and going to school and is gone and busy most of the time.

But Jana and I are still meeting every week and having coffee. Or breakfast. Or sometimes lunch. But always therapy. The kind that comes from friends who are up to date on each other's lives from talking every week.

I like that. I love that with all the changes in my life there's a constant: coffee with my friend.

Of course, you know it's not about the coffee.

And it's not about where we go to have coffee (or breakfast or lunch). Although, can I just tell you that Crystal Cove is a fantastic place to have breakfast on a perfect California day. Seriously.

It's the point of connection. I just felt so appreciative of my friend's input this week. I appreciate her understanding and how easy it is for us to be together. I wanted to write about that today because some weeks our Coffee and Therapy is what keeps me moving forward and ready to tackle the next thing in my life.

To be clear, I have lots of really great friends. Many of them live too many area codes away for me to connect with them in person regularly. Thank goodness for the Internet and email and smart phones and Twitter and Instagram and Facebook. I'm so grateful to be living in this technical era where I can follow their lives and we can send each other thinking-of-you messages with such ease.

But, Jana is my every-week-face-to-face-coffee-friend and truly, she has saved me thousands in therapy. And I'm so thankful.

My prayer for you, my friends, is that you would find a Coffee and Therapy friend of your own.

Thanks, Jana. You're a gift to me.

Jesus and My Hair

I've been letting my hair go back to its natural curl.

That sounds like a really simple thing, right? It's not.

I've been going to a specialty hair salon in Laguna Beach. The hair gal, Vickie (who happens to be Puerto Rican, which makes us practically related) runs a cute little shop called Curls on Top. She specializes in curly hair. Sounds crazy, right?

So, I started going to this curly-girl-specialty-salon back in August. And let me tell you, it isn't as simple as "just let your hair go curly again."

I must interject here that I love going to the salon. Everyone there gets me. We're all curly girls who are embracing our natural curls. It's kind of like an elite club. (Or a recovery group, but that's not important right now.)

I've been straightening my über-curls for the past 9 years. I've Brazillianed them, Japanese systemed them, Keratined them to get my curls stick straight and manageable. That's some serious curl-taming.

Here's a story and video of me getting my blowout. (Get popcorn.)

The straightener people always tell you that the process will eventually just disappear with enough washing. Lies. I haven't straightened anything since last summer and there are still pieces of straight hair that must be coaxed into keeping at least a bit of a bend until the straightened bit grows out and can be trimmed off.

This requires tons of special conditioner and gel and special clips that keep the bend in place, and at least 30 minutes under a hooded dryer. So not the "just let it go curly again" easy-peasy thing. But I'm determined. Also, I have two really great friends who have been my Curly-girl Advocates, Jana from the Summer House and Carrie from Tiki Tiki Blog.

So I follow the Curly Girl Method. (<--Google it.) And eventually I will tell you the story with a video. But today's not that day.

Today I want to tell you that it's kind of hit or miss when it comes to how my hair will look. There are days when it cooperates beautifully and I get compliments.

"Why yes, it is naturally curly. Thank you." (I'm practicing being demure about it.)

But there are other days when all the straight pieces just really want to do their own thing screaming, "We'll never go curly again! Not ever! Never!" Those days I end up looking a little crazed. (Don't judge.)

Exhibit A:

I have been taking self-portraits every time I attempt to do my hair (I've been documenting since September) because I know that one day I'll want to document this for my posterity.

Anyway, I took the photo above with the I-can't-even-believe-I'm-still-trying-to-grow-out-my-curls face. And I was reminded of something from back in the seventies....

Remember Godspell? The musical from the 70's? And Jesus (played by Victor Garber. Seriously.) had a big mop of untamed curly hair? Yeah. That would be me last week.

Just to prove my point, I made this collage:

See what I mean? Me and Jesus have hair in common. I posted that pic on my Instagram feed (which you should totally be following, if you don't already. I'm Smrtqbn).

I'm thinking this transition back to my curly roots (Hey! That works on two levels!) is even making me more creative. Every day I am feeling more and more confident in my new-found Curly Girl Awesomeness. Almost like being myself again.

I guess I just have to take this one day at a time. Or Day by Day. (<--see what I did there?)

Goodbye, Google Reader. Hello, Bloglovin.

Those of you who subscribe to my blog feed and use Google Reader may have already heard that Google Reader is going away. The beauty of using a "reader" is that it delivers the content from your favorite blogs straight into one place where you can then read up on the comings and goings of your favorite blogger-people.

I tend to use my iPad for everything and I take it everywhere so I can catch up on my reading whenever I have downtime because I....Must. Have. Input. Not long ago, the back of my kids' cereal boxes were even fair game, but that's not important right now.

So, back to Google Reader going away....

Enter Bloglovin. My good friend, Jana of The Summer House turned me on to this newest-most-improved-welcome-to-the-21st-century blog reader and I fell in love.

Now my favorite blogs are delivered straight to my inbox in a beautiful package with great, big, fabulous pictures. And stories, and food, and art. In my inbox. Everyday. Which lets me know exactly when my favorite blogs are updated. And I can "like" whatever they do and comment from the Bloglovin platform.

And seeing as I don't post every single day, this keeps me much more accountable to you, my readers, to write something fabulous and funny as often as possible. See? What's not to like?

It looks something like this:

Did I mention I'm in love?

If you would be so kind, I would be honored if you would Follow my blog with Bloglovin.

It's easy to sign up and I promise you will be so delighted, you'll send me a dozen pastelitos in the mail. (I'm talking to you, Miami.)

Actually, that was my lame attempt at a Jedi Mind Trick. *crosses fingers & hope it works*

But seriously, you should sign up for this wonderful free service (no, they're not paying me - it's just that fabulous).

Also, the pastelito thing is completely optional.

Where in the world is Marta today?

I realize I haven't been posting as often as I like and I apologize, but that doesn't mean I'm not around. In fact, I seem to be all over the web today. I'm guest posting in a couple of places:

I have an essay about Mother's Day over at the Tiki Tiki. I tell you a lot about Luza. It's titled "My Mother. My Inspiration."  Or as I like to call it: Not your typical Mother's Day tribute. (But that's not important right now.) Click on over and leave some comment love. I think you'll enjoy it.

I also have a homeschooling article about how I taught both my boys to read over at Mommy Maestra. It's called "Tintin and the Reluctant Reader." Please click on the link if you're interested (or at least curious).

Thanks for your patience. I'll be back in my own neighborhood very soon. And have I got stuff to tell you!

Besos,
Marta

Home-Ec 101? She wrote the book. (A Giveaway)

When I was a very young child in Cuba, we had domestic "help" who cooked, cleaned and generally took care of the business of running the household. That "household" consisted of our two parents, five daughters and a son and various staff. We lived in a large (semi-mansion-size) home with eight bedrooms, two kitchens and a courtyard.

All of that abruptly changed when our family had to leave Cuba in early 1961. Take a group of five girls, raised in privilege and suddenly plunge them into another world where they had to struggle and pitch in to help keep up with the daily chores.

It was a bit traumatizing. My parents, to their credit, never spoke much about our former life. That was in the past. "This is our new reality."

And so we managed as best we could to learn the skills we formerly took for granted. We worked hard to learn the new life skills that were required of us - the cooking and cleaning and general running of a household.

Not only were we expected to clean our new home, but it had to be "Cuban clean." That means perfectly spotless and spelling of PineSol. (I am still missing this particular skill. I think it skips a generation, but that's not important right now.)

There are things that, to this day, still elude me. I confess I'm never really sure how to get certain stains out of my laundry. And a chore list? I must have one somewhere around here....

I do make a regular menu list, but I'm always kind of flying by the seat of my pants. What I need is Home-Ec 101. If only someone, somewhere would write a book!

Meet my friend, Heather Solos. She not only wrote the book, she is the brains behind the very popular and informative website, Home-Ec 101. (Go there. Bookmark it. Thank me later.)

I had the privilege of meeting Heather in Texas last year when we were both part of the Cooking With the Troops team in San Antonio. We all immediately fell in love with her and embraced her as an honorary Cuban. She quickly became an integral part of Team Cubanaso. ;-)

This woman seriously knows how to do everything. (I'm not kidding about this.) She is amazing. Last year when we were struggling with an ant problem, the first person I contacted was Heather. She knew exactly what to do. And it worked! Read all about that right here.

I was so excited to receive my very own (autographed!) copy. I quickly turned to Chapter Eleven - Laundry: The World's Most Thankless Chore and read it as if my life depended on it. (So that's how you pre-treat stains!)

I promise you will enjoy this book immensely. It should be a staple in everyone's home. Speaking of staples, she covers just exactly what you should have in your kitchen in Chapter 18. (Get this book!)

Or maybe you could win it...

Heather has graciously offered to host this week's giveaway: An autographed(!) copy of her fabulous book (which everyone totally should have!) Home-Ec 101, Skills for Everyday Living.

1) To enter this drawing, please leave a comment on this post and answer  one or both of the following questions:

• What household skill are you particularly good at?
• Where do you still struggle?

To enter this drawing for Heather's must-have book, please leave your comment on this post and I'll choose a winner on Friday, March 30th, 2011 at 8pm PST.

Would it be an over-share to tell you that I may or may not have found some pertinent information I needed under the heading: Dealing with Tub Funk?  ;-)

Following my Bliss(dom)

I'm headed out to Nashville, Tennessee for the Blissdom Blogging Conference 2012.

I'm so looking forward to my time there! I'll be staying with my good friend and partner in Tiki Tiki and Blog Crime, Carrie Ferguson Weir.

I promise to share all the wonders of Nashville if I can figure out how to blog from my smart phone. (That would be kind of lame not to be able to do that. Hello? SMART phone! But that's not important right now.)

 

 

Anyway, I'll be visiting, sightseeing, eating wonderful things and hanging with my Cuban Cubiches in Nashville.

I'll be back in a week or so with lots of really cool giveaways and things to share.

In the meantime, since I won't be in town for Luza's birthday. Can you share with me how to thwart the evil eye? I swear, my mom is part gypsy. ;-)

Next time you hear from me, I'll be in Music City. (I'm already feeling sooo accidentally cool.)

Bye!

 

The Circle of Life - Lion King 3D and Eternal Disney Uber-geeks

Back in 1994, I took Amy and Adam to the premiere of the Disney film, The Lion King at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. This was obviously before Lucy and Jonathan were born. We all loved the film so much that we couldn't wait to own it when it was released on VHS. (Yes, this is waaay back in the day.)

A few years later, when we added two more little ones to our family, our love for The Lion King never diminished.

When my son, Jonathan, was very little, he loved watching Disney's The Lion King on our VHS player. He's almost 16 now and I imagine that like most of his generation, they grew up watching Simba grow from cub to king and knew every moment of the film and every song by heart.

In the first scene, when all the animals come to the presentation of Simba, Jonathan would stretch his arms out for someone (usually me - Wait! Would that then make me the monkey??) to pick him up and "present" him. He would usually signal his older siblings to bow down, and to my endless astonishment and to their everlasting credit, they always did.

We've also enjoyed watching the live musical production of The Lion King. Seriously, so much love for this movie and show.

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a preview screening of The Lion King 3D at the Walt Disney Studio Lot with my friend, Jana (The Summer House). 

We were wide-eyed and amazed and feeling sooo accidentally cool to be visiting the Walt Disney Studios. You can imagine what that was like for a Disney-uber-geek like myself. (Pinch me!) 

First of all, the film itself (even though I knew every line by heart) stands the test of time. It's completely as fresh and funny and poignant as it was so many years ago. The 3D effects make the scenes just that more thrilling (particularly the wildebeast stampede, but that's not important right now).

Having the privilege of seeing it at the Walt Disney Studios just gave me another thing to put a checkmark next to on my Bucket List. (I'll have to tell you all about it in great detail, but that's a post for another day.)

Do yourself a favor and GO. SEE. THIS. FILM. It's only in theaters for the next two weeks. In 3D, people! (Not the roller-coaster-stomach-churning 3D, the very cool-modern-the-characters-look-so-real 3D.)

Take your kids who were so little when it was released in theaters the first time, so they can enjoy the full effects. Encourage your teenagers and young adults to go see it again on the big screen so they can relive the magic. Seriously. You'll thank me.

As for Jonathan, who wants to one day be a film maker, well.....he just can't wait to be king. ;-)

Do you have some good memories of The Lion King? Please share. 

Cuando salí de Cuba - Christina's story

Marta here: I'm celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month: Cuban-Style with a series of stories about Cuban American families: Cuando Sali de Cuba, stories of courage and hope.

This one is from my friend and fellow blogger, Christina Gomez-Pina. Inspired by the book/film Julie & Julia, she has embarked on her own Project: to celebrate the Cuban kitchen — the food, the abuelas who prepared it, and the family who gathered around the table to enjoy every bite. For her generation — and for her childrens’  generation — she is cooking her way through Nitza Villapol’s 1950s classic Cocina al Minuto. Her blog is fittingly called La Cocina de Christina.
 

Enjoy.

Cuando salí de Cuba...

Christina F. Gomez-Pina

Nunca podré morirme,
mi corazón no lo tengo aquí.
Alguién me está esperando,
me está aguardando que vuelva aquí. 

I wasn’t born in Cuba, per se.  But, I see that as a technicality.  From my very beginnings, I was taught about Cuba with heart.  Y mi corazón has been there ever since.  As I grew, I realized that the Cuba I know and love is actually a state in the heart.  It is the stories from your family and the stories you created in your mind.  

Cuando salí de Cuba,
dejé mi vida dejé mi amor.
Cuando salí de Cuba,
dejé enterrado mi corazón. 

I understand what our families left behind.  I cannot comprehend what they went through, or what they were thinking when they left their lives and loves behind.  But what I do know is that one of my grandmothers brought Cocina al Minuto to Miami – a foreign land, where she hoped she’d see her three sons upon arrival.  She brought her book.  There was no way our grandmothers were leaving behind their pieces of home.

 The women of La Cocina de Christina, present day.  Daughter, Mom, me, Paternal grandmother (with her original book, the one she brought from Cuba) and my Mother in Law (with the copy I use for The Project, which she gave me as a wedding present in 2000).

Late y sigue latiendo
porque la tierra vida le da,
pero llegará un día
en que mi mano te alcanzará.

The heart keeps beating and the kitchen was where our grandmothers let it beat the loudest.  

Cuando salí de Cuba,
dejé mi vida dejé mi amor.
Cuando salí de Cuba,
dejé enterrado mi corazón. 

They left everything behind but they would not let their traditions, their culture, their olores a cocina disappear.  

Abuela Teresa, my dad's grandmother.  My great-grandmother.

Una triste tormenta
te está azotando sin descansar
pero el sol de tus hijos
pronto la calma te hará alcanzar. 

They taught us to cook.  After school, when our moms were at work and we were taken care of by our abuelas, they taught us to cook.  Carne fria, croquetas, flanes and arroz.  Whatever it was to both keep us busy and keep the meaning of what they lived for alive.

Daughter & me.  Making mariquitas for a photo shoot with The Miami Herald's Al Diaz, for a story in August 2009.
 
Cuando salí de Cuba,
dejé mi vida dejé mi amor.
Cuando salí de Cuba,
dejé enterrado mi corazón.

And I teach my daughter and sons to cook.  Because my abuelos left everything behind so that those children who became our parents and our own children would have a better life.  And I cook.  So that my children can learn where they came from – and where one day, they will return and make the reality they dream of in their minds.

Thanksgiving 2006 - Maternal grandmother, me, daughter and Mom.

Christina has been featured on The Burger Beast Blog preparing Cuban-style hamburgers and bacon-wrapped hot dogs.

And also on the Tiki Tiki Blog teaching us the finer points of a congri-stuffed turkey for Thanksgiving.

Please visit Christina at her blog: La Cocina de Christina and if you want to help her out by commenting on the process of making her next recipe, go "like" her Facebook page, too. =D

La Mala Letra - my cousin, the dissident Cuban blogger

As many of you know, I still have family in Cuba. Aunts, uncles, cousins and their offspring. 

We used to be thick as thieves back in the day, but time and distance and a repressive dictatorship has managed to destroy what close relations we had. 

I have a cousin in Cuba, who is my age. (One of the few photos of us together from 1959. I'm the 2nd cowgirl from the left. She's the one on the far right.)

And she's a blogger.

While I get to write about how charmed my life is and all the fun things we get to do, she writes about politics. Because politics in Cuba colors everything. So that's what she writes about. The shortage of food. The difficulties in travel. Impossibly low wages. The official government reactions to Gaddaffi's ousting and her opinions about all of the above.

I think she's very terribly brave. And I'd like to introduce you to her today.

Her name is Regina Coyula and her site is called La Mala Letra (Bad Handwriting) and is translated into English by some fabulously dedicated folks who help get the word out. 

When Amy was in Cuba last year she spent time with Regina who introduced her to the underground Cuban blogosphere. 

She blogs about the realities in Cuba and hopes that change will come quickly to the island she calls home.

She doesn't really think she alone can make a difference, but rather she feels like a pebble, who, when joined with many other pebbles begins an avalanche. I like that analogy. It seems fitting, somehow.

How I wish, for her sake and for the sake of the millions of Cubans imprisoned by the Castros on that island that the avalanche would start soon.

 Please go check out her blog in English or in Spanish. And when you do, please give thanks for the many blessings we daily take for granted here in the land of the free.

The Summer House

My friend, Jana blogs over at The Summer House. It's called the Summer House because she loves the simplicity of living in a summer beach rental-type atmosphere where everything is clean, decluttered, and ready for fun.

She lives out her philosophy of simple living beautifully. And I'm always impressed and inspired by her. 

Internets, meet Jana...

I, of course, am just the opposite. My house is messy and cluttery in an artistic-A.D.D.-hyper-collector sort of way.

In spite of those differences, we are great friends and we manage to carve out a couple of hours for coffee at least once a week throughout the year and a once-a-week beach day through the summer. 

Meanwhile, back at the Summer House......

I started this post telling you about Jana, because we rent a beach house for a long, relaxing week every summer. Because of her inspiration, we have taken to calling it The Summer House. (Don't sue me, please, my friend. Thanks.) 

The house itself is bright and airy, with a big kitchen and lots of couches for lounging and a big patio that's perfect for cookouts and surfboards or in our case drying beach towels.

Our Summer House is only about an hour's drive south from us, in San Diego county. A mere 238 steps to the beach. With the best sand imaginable for sand castle building.

Or expressing ourselves artistically. This is Art.... ;-)

Even though the house is pretty roomy, and we have space for lots of people to hang out, we don't have as many comfortable sleeping surfaces. So we invited friends to come and be with us and just scheduled their visits on different days.

It worked out quite nicely for the first few days, with friends popping in for a morning or afternoon.

And the sun cooperated on some days, but not on others.

Still it was relaxing and fun to just “be” with whoever was available for the day.

I loved the quiet moments in between visitors when I could just sit and read and watch my kids playing in the sand. (Much like I did when they were little. Go figure.)

The ocean was soothing and oh, so healing. And we all were so in need of a rest and the respite that comes from serious playing.

Or just doing nothing. We did a lot of nothing. As often as possible.

Some of our young friends came to celebrate Lucy's 18th birthday, which meant there were more mouths to feed.

For breakfast:

Lunch:

And dinner:

And I appreciate that all of her and Jon's friends are fun and easy to be with.

And are always ready to cooperate with me when I have a camera in my hand, which is most of the time, but that's not important right now. ("Quick, put on these disguises!")

Our time spent in the Summer House also reminds me of my childhood summers in Cuba, which were spent in Varadero, always with a houseful of friends and family. We would get to the beach as early as possible and put off eating because of the 3-Hour Rule (that's me on the right with the mop of uber-curly hair standing behind my trusty Duck Life-saver).

I hope my kids have the same happy memories that I do of the Limited Communal Summer Living Experience (LCSLE?).

It pleases me to think that they will indeed.

 

P.S. Thanks, Jana, for the Summer House inspiration. =D