Doorknobs and the Human Condition

We moved into this house in March of 2001. That was 11  years ago and let me tell you, our home has seen a lot of life since then.

To put it in better perspective, in March of 2001, Amy was a senior in high school. Adam was a freshman. Lucy was 7 and in second grade. Jonathan was 5 and not yet in school.


Amy and Adam have long since moved away and gotten on with their respective lives. Lucy is 18 now and in college. Jonathan is a sophomore in high school. (Does anyone else tell time by the ages of their kids?)

In all of that time, we have been living with the doorknobs that came with this house. In fact, we have never given them much thought. There were doors. They had knobs. You could open and close them. End of story.

I don't think the locks on the bathroom doors have ever really worked. We didn't care. In fact, we never, ever thought about it.


Yesterday, the painters had finished painting all of the doors inside the house. All eleven of them. Before yesterday, I couldn't have told you that there were eleven doors in our home.

But once they were painted, we noticed the knobs...

Please notice (like we did) the mismatched knobs. I couldn't have told you they were mismatched. I couldn't have even told you what color or shape they were. Until yesterday.

Old doorknobs

Eric and I headed over to the Home Depot to pick up some new knobs for our freshly painted doors. Did you even know the word "knob" is spelled with a "k" at the beginning? You learn stuff when you're doing home improvements, but that's not important right now.

This is the part that is crazy-making....

We spent one hour choosing new knobs. One. Full. Hour. Picking out an item we had not given any thought to before The Great Door Painting of 2012.

The old ones were even a little crusty. (Ew!) How could we not have noticed??

Old doorknob

We came home with our prize(s) and set to work installing the knobs. (When I say "we," I mean Eric. I just stood around and pointed and fussed more than actually doing any work, but again, that's not important right now.)

When the new doorknobs were installed (on all eleven doors!) we celebrated and raved about the ease of opening and closing and practiced locking each one and patted ourselves on the back for being so clever and having such great taste in doorknobs.

New doorknobs

Look! Shiny! And round! And they lock! We were downright giddy with our new shiny, round, locking knobs...   

that we had not given a thought to for ELEVEN YEARS.

At least with my kids, they have grown and changed and so help me mark the passage of time. The doors, not so much.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go lock the door.

(If you have a similar story, please share. I'd hate to think we were the only ones with this kind of crazy.)