WARNING: This post is a total over-share. (In fact, I can't believe I'm writing about this at all!)
You've been warned.
I'm pretty content with my life as it is. Seriously, it's the truth.
I'm proud to be Cuban-American and I have an incredible extended family on both sides that I (very obviously) love.
I adore and am proud of all four of my kids and we (most of the time... =D) get along great.
I'm convinced I married very well and as corny and cliché as it sounds, my husband is (most of the time.. =D) my best friend. (I'd say he was my "soul mate," except for I hate the sound of that much more, but that's not important right now.)
I have the most wonderful friends - both the regular and online variety. =D
I love my home, because even though it's very small, it stretches to accommodate all the people we jam into it. Which we do often.
I'm satisfied with myself and my creative endeavors from scrapbooking and photography to graphic design to blogging to cooking to blogging about cooking (=D) Not only have they been wonderful outlets of self-expression for me, but my efforts are generally pretty well received.
I have settled the homeschooling issue and feel confident in my ability to educate my kids at home.
I am at peace with God and know my purpose in life.
So, taking it all into consideration, I'd say I'm pretty content with my life and my lifestyle. Yep. My life is good. Pretty amazing, actually. I would go so far as to say that I lead A Charmed Life. (In fact, I do say it - often!)
So, why, I ask you, did I go into complete panic mode when I received an invitation to...
(insert horror movie music here)
...my High School Reunion???
What madness is this?
And I'm one of those few weirdos who actually enjoyed high school! (I know! And, you can totally tell I'm panicking by all the exclamation points I'm using!!!) ;-)
So, where did this crazy thinking spring up from?
It's irrational, I know.
I have a recurring nightmare that I am back (ironically) in high school and I can't remember what classes I'm in, or what my locker combination is. And my conscious mind knows that my high school schedule or combination is certainly NOT the subconscious issue, but I wake up in a kind of panic anyway.
It's totally irrational like that. I went into a weird sort of waking panic.
It's like I'm thinking that everyone else has stayed exactly the same. Frozen in time in 1973 and I am The Only One Who Has Aged. I know. This is the stuff of NIGHTMARES! Okay, so I have even actually seen many of these people in the last few years, and I've stayed friends with many of them, but don't bother me with facts right now, I'm in the middle of a panic attack here!
Where is this craziness coming from? Like I said, I totally enjoyed high school. I'm still in touch with many of the people that still matter to me. And my life is very good. So what's the problem?
I think somewhere inside I'm thinking that I'll be embarrassed somehow that I've aged and have to wear glasses and have laugh lines around my eyes and wrinkles on my face and no way could I fit even my left thigh into my old blue and gold cheerleader outfit. (heavy sigh)
This reaction that I am having is actually waaay more embarrassing. I can't believe that so many immature and insecure thoughts are trying to take up residence in my mind. Seriously. I need to so get over myself.
So, I thought... well, whatever....
I talked myself down from the limb by rehearsing those truths I started this post with and have committed to going to see my wonderful old friends. I'm flattered by the many people who are emailing me and I'm looking forward to catching up with them. So, yes. I'm going to go to that reunion after all.
Honestly, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin. I like the person I've become and I'm very satisfied with my choices in life.
And as for the wrinkles and all that stuff...
Well... there's a lot of good times stuck in those laugh lines. =D