I don't remember the lesson having been specifically taught. But I know that insidiously I picked up what would always remain as The First Great Truth:
"You must never show weakness or vulnerability."
No, no one ever said these words to me out loud, and yet I learned them well, just as I learned to tie my shoes and speak English. It was a high value in my family to be strong and to never show weakness. I was musing to a friend that perhaps it's a very Cuban trait?
No, she said. It's a very female trait.
As I have been struggling lately just to show up for life and do what I need to do, the words are looming before me, and those nagging internal voices (in a Cuban accent, of course) are getting louder:
YOU MUST NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY.
And yet, I'm in a season of weakness and vulnerability, so my self-esteem is taking quite a beating.
But I have a secret weapon: I married well. And my husband knows when to work hard and when it's time to relax. And he gives me the grace to be weak without judgement.
In fact, he is very efficient in silencing the nagging Cuban voices in my head and is so teaching me to relax.
Nefret is obviously helping illustrate the lesson, but that's not important right now.
So, today, in spite of my struggles and perceived weakness, I am celebrating that I do, indeed, lead a charmed life. ;-)