There's a snotty-hacking-coughing-feverish-fluish thing going around here. It's not just a common cold, either. And the cough seems to hang in and stay for weeks.
My sister, Helen had it on my mom's birthday a few weeks ago. (She's still coughing.) And then Jonathan got it. (He's still coughing.)
[Stylized Cartoon photo of Sick Jon courtesy of the coolest iPhone app ever, but that's not important right now.]
Now, we are slowly passing it around from one family member to another.
Of course, once the first person gets it, there's no amount of hand-washing and avoiding the same airspace that's going to keep the next person from getting it. And so on. And so on....
My mom suggested I use, "El Bix." That's Vicks VapoRub to you.
So I dutifully head to the drug store and choose the modern NON-GREASY version of Vicks VapoRub. Made by the same company. With the same inimitable eucalyptus fragrance.
My mom: "Eso no sirve. Tiene que ser el del pomito azul." (Loose translation: "This is worthless. It has to be the one in the little blue jar.")
I should add right here that my mom regularly purchases the Giant Industrial Size VapoRub and goes through it at an alarming rate. She uses it recreationally, slathering it on her neck and forehead every night before bed.
As a matter of fact, she credits her "Bix" for keeping her alive for all these years. My dad used to joke that she used so much VapoRub so regularly, that when she died, she wouldn't need to be embalmed. But I digress.
When I started coughing and hacking and getting the snotty-hacking-coughing-feverish-fluish thing myself, I used my VapoRub Cream. It's non-greasy, you know.
But the seeds of doubt were planted...
And so, the superstitious-do-what-your-Cuban-mother-tells-you-or-bad-things-will-happen part of my brain sent me back to the store.
I'm still recovering from the snotty-hacking-coughing-feverish-fluish thing. But now, I am using the UBER-GREASY Vicks VapoRub OINTMENT. Even the word "ointment" sounds sticky.
I can barely believe it myself.
I'm not sure it's working at all *cough, cough, hack, sniffle, a-choo!*
But I'm not taking any chances. ;-)