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When It Rains…

March 22, 2017 By Marta Darby 21 Comments

I should preface whatever it is I’m going to write next with these words:

IT NEVER RAINS IN CALIFORNIA.

Seriously. When it does rain here, we hunker down and stay home. We don’t know how to drive when weather happens. We don’t know how to act. I’d be hard pressed to name any friends of mine who own a raincoat. No rain. It’s California. We don’t “do” weather. End of discussion. 

Well, that all changed at the beginning of this year. 

It started raining. Raining like crazy. Talk about not knowing how to act! We took turns filming the water come down with our iPhones and sent the videos to each other. “Look at the rain come down at my house!” 

We posted about the rain on social media. 

Something crazy is happening here. Alert the media. #WeDontDoweather #SoCalRain pic.twitter.com/9Q7oPJUiSk

— Marta Darby (@Smrtqbn) January 12, 2017

My friends from Miami scoffed out loud at our backwards ways. “Rain? You videotaped the rain? LOL.” *cue hysterical laughter*

But it kept raining here. And life kept going.

In the midst of the deluge that brought about the end of the Great California Drought of 2017, my mom passed away. And the weather mirrored my feelings.

Eric switched jobs which allowed him to work from home again, but he was traveling. He spent a week in Connecticut. It was cold there, but here? It just kept raining. Hard.

And because I was home and kind of grounded, I baked a lot. 

And even made homemade soup like you’re supposed to on rainy days. Ok, Rain. I get how this works. Watch me dominate.

(I just realized that I haven’t posted recipes for my famous Chocolate Chip Muffins or my favorite tomato soup. Note to Self…)

Wait. Why is the floor wet? And the wall? What is happening? The rain didn’t care how I answered the questions. It just kept coming. I moved my furniture away from the wall. Wait. Why is the wall wet?

“Yes, Amy, bring Sebastian over, but don’t let him go over there. The floor is wet.” That water was relentless.

And so it was that we found The Leak. The Leak was not caused specifically because of the torrential rains, but the rains caused the ground to be so wet that The Leak that had apparently been there for a while finally showed itself because it had nowhere to go. Parenthetically, this was a relief because our insurance covered a slab leak but not flooding.

So, in the midst of my personal storms and the actual storms, we found ourselves having to tear up our floor and walls to get to that slab leak. 

Let me just clarify here – I know this is a first world problem. My point in writing about this is because I was so broadsided by how everything seemed to be happening at once and in slow motion. 

Excuse me, Life, but I’m grieving here. I haven’t got time to make BIG decisions about my house. I’ve got to help go through my mom’s things and plan a memorial and write an obituary. Oh yeah, and grieve. I’ve got to do that stuff. No time for a slab leak.

But Life was not really paying attention to my discomfort and The Leak needed to be dealt with. 

Mercifully, our contractor knew exactly what to do and how to isolate the problem. But that meant not only ripping up the floor and the wainscoting, but busting into the walls. And until they fixed The Leak and did the re-piping, the water in the house had to be turned off and we obviously couldn’t live here while all this destruction was happening.

The foundations of my adorable, freakishly small cottage-like home had to be ripped up and it might have been okay except for my heart was enduring much of the same. 

We spent a week ensconced in one of those extended stay type places. We came to call it “The Safe House.” It was clean and the beds were comfortable, but such was my state of shock that I did not take ONE photo to document that week of my life. I know. Who AM I? I wasn’t completely sure anymore. 

Blowers and de-humidifiers had to be brought in to dry up the soggy concrete. The open, saturated walls gave off the smell you only find when you’re at the bottom of the caves on the Pirates of the Caribbean. Yo Ho!

Gratefully, there was no mold, which would have added another terrible level of Problematic to our already maxed-out Crazy. 

In between trips home from the Safe House to check on the progress of the blowers, my sisters and I went through my mom’s things. I brought home a dozen full boxes of all her photo albums and dismantled her teacup collection. And I would stop and cry. The tears were as relentless as the rain.

My mom was gone and I wanted to talk to her about all that was happening. I could hear her saying, “Pa’lante y con fe.” (“Onward. With faith.”)

My sisters and I divided up the mundane tasks of dismantling a life that need to be done when you lose a loved one. We apportioned the tasks based on personal skill sets. It fell to me to plan the memorial. A Celebration of Life. And so I set about to scan 1000’s of photos. I created a photo book and worked on a video and sent out cards and all that stuff. 

I was also choosing flooring and paint colors in the midst of my sadness. It should have been fun, but I was feeling too sorry for myself to enjoy the process. 

My kitchen has been torn up for 2 months now. Which means we’ve been eating fast-ish food and sandwiches. I have not cooked a thing. Unless you count toast. (I don’t count toast.) In other words, I don’t recognize my life at all. 

And yet, slo-w-ly the pieces of my new home are coming together. The walls are finally closed up. No more Pirates smell. And the floor! I love it so much I want to marry it.

The walls are newly painted and I think I did pretty well choosing the new colors. Also, my mom’s house has already sold as is in escrow. The Celebration of Life was beautiful and I’ll write about that soon enough. 

I have stacks of boxes to go through in the garage. My kitchen is almost ready for me to move back in. I am re-thinking where things will be hung and what I’ll keep and what I’ll give away. Nothing seems to match my beautiful new floor. My old furniture looks shabby. 

My life is not going to look like it did before. I suppose I’ll start cooking again at some point pretty soon. Right now I’m still feeling the weight of all the CHANGE. But that’s how it works. When the drought ends, you need to prepare for a New Normal.

Believe it or not, it’s raining again today as I write this. My garden is starting to call me and remind me that winter is over and spring is on its way. This season will one day be a distant memory. 

And even with all the loss and liquidation (pun intended), there is the promise of a beautiful new life on the other side. 

Pa’lante y con fe. 

You might also like:

Now it’s time for… “Big Thoughts with Dr. Seuss.” When life gives you lemons. . . Go to the Happiest Place on Earth! Out with the Old (relatively speaking) #firstworldproblems Call the plumber!

Filed Under: Celebrate, Lifestyle

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Desiree says

    March 22, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    sending you so much love

    Reply
  2. Kat says

    March 22, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    Eloquently stated dear Marta❤️

    Reply
  3. Ody says

    March 22, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    You’re amazing and a great example of perseverance in the midst of life’s toughest moments. Un fuerte abrazo. Pa’lante y con fe!!!

    Reply
  4. Estrella says

    March 22, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    Sometimes I think the good Lord sends ‘stuff’ our way at the worst of times, or so it seems, to keep us a tad away from major hurts, as what the loss of your dear mom must have been. Keep up your good work. Pa’lante y con Fe!!⭐

    Reply
  5. Pam Pensiero says

    March 22, 2017 at 8:02 pm

    Hey your windows look clean and perfect! Just think how great your next coffee crop will be! Love you. Always.

    Reply
  6. Nellie says

    March 22, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    So beautiful and oh how I needed this. Through family sicknesses and hospitalizations the last couple of months. And 4 days in a California (San Luis Obispo) hotel room by myself cooped up because of the rain. Thank you, Marta, for your eloquent and timely perspective.

    Reply
  7. Stacie Hurst says

    March 22, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    Well, you have me smiling through tears… I Love You, Dear Friend!
    Pa’lante y con fe ?

    Reply
  8. Esther Avila-Young says

    March 22, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    So well written. Thank you for sharing, and if that is okay with you I will say: “Sometimes when it rains, it pours”. I hope you will soon put all that behind you and start enjoying your new remodeled home with the great memories your dear mom left behind. Hugs to you and your family Marta! ❤

    Reply
  9. Maria says

    March 23, 2017 at 4:50 am

    I love your writing and strength

    Reply
  10. Martha Moreira Yunis says

    March 23, 2017 at 6:13 am

    Your gorgeous floor reminds me of your Mom: weathered, but strong and resilient. In for the long haul. Can take whatever you throw at it and still look elegant. Warm abrazos to you as you commemorate a life well lived. “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make”. Oh, did I mention your floor is AMAZING?

    Reply
  11. Elizabeth says

    March 23, 2017 at 6:55 am

    as they say, “when it rains, it pours”. sometimes it seems everything happens at the same time and not the most appropriate time at that, but life goes on and one keeps going. my beloved father passed away when I was 29 and I thought to myself, “how am I going to get through all of this now?” here I am almost 19 years later. you have so many wonderful memories of your mom and those live with you in your heart! un abrazo fuerte!

    Reply
  12. Debra says

    March 23, 2017 at 9:28 am

    Love you! It’s so difficult and one step at a time, one hour at a time, you will get through it. XOXOX

    Reply
  13. Denisse says

    March 23, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Sending you much love. Abrazos.

    Reply
  14. Lily olinick says

    March 23, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    God only gives us what we can handle. Even though we think we will fall apart He carries us through our difficult times. God bless and hope the rain will bring sunshine. Cuidate mija

    Reply
  15. Mica says

    March 23, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    The rain is cleansing Marta, and as my dear daddy used to tell me “no tengas miedo”. *hugs*
    P.s. Love the floor!

    Reply
  16. Dariela says

    March 23, 2017 at 8:27 pm

    It is amazing how when it rains it pours!! Y la vida sigue, ni modo. Un besote y abrazo Marta. Oh and btw, I love your writing!! I can always come and read up your post rápido cause I enjoy it so much.

    Reply
  17. Luli McArthur says

    March 23, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Pa’lante y con fe! Onward and hopeful. That’s exactly how I feel these days, as I learn to deal with cancer. It was caught early and I will only need radiation, so I’m feeling quite blessed (which I never thought I’d say about any of this). But…pa’lante y con fe.

    Thank you for sharing your mom with us in such a beautiful way and “mil gracias” for my new anthem. I will never forget who it came from.

    Pa’lante y con fe ?

    Reply
  18. Pearmama says

    March 24, 2017 at 7:04 am

    I can’t imagine how you must feel losing your mama. ? Here is to praying you will embrace this new normal.

    Reply
  19. Elena says

    March 24, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    Marta, my heart goes out to you, that’s a lot to take all at once!
    Luza’s departure opened a new chapter for all of you along with the rain that although created a havoc also made you think about and make decisions when you were not ready but you did. God takes care of his children.
    Dios aprieta pero no ahoga, as our Cuban parents will tell us.
    Peace and blessings!

    Reply
  20. Wendy Byde says

    March 26, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    I’m so sorry about your mom. This was all WAY to much to juggle while you were (are) going through that. xoxoxo

    Reply
  21. Jen Segnere says

    March 30, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    Thank you for this–my abuela just died on the 29thand I found your blog and this post by accident and god’s will. It was just what I needed. Hugs and Besos to you through your own sad time.

    Reply

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